FHM and Maxim were the Coke and Pepsi of the soft core scantily clad lad magazines back in the 90s and early-to-mid-2000s. Alas, the emergence of what Sam Jackson calls "one of the best pop culture achievements of the last 50 years" and humble Kate Upton bloggers like myself have largely made the tired tomes obsolete. They now live out their remaining days by booking fellow relics of the past who are in the market for publicity.
The only use of the books anymore is for their annual "100 Sexiest Women in the World" rankings. FHM dropped theirs today. To sum it up in one word: WTF?
How in the Hell did Kate Upton fall 10 spots, from #8 in 2013 to #18 in 2014? You can blame the drop on FHM being published in a socialist country.
For example, here’s a couple randos who edged Kate out on the list. From what Google tells me, this is Helen Flanagan, better known as the bargain bin Kate Upton.
I haven’t heard of Pixie Lott either. FHM tells me she's England's version of Britney Spears. They don't tell us if she's "Chaotic" Britney or "Oops" Britney.
All jingoism aside, the one Brit FHM slotted above Kate who I can roll with is Emilia Clarke.
Scarlett Johansson is only allowed to be ranked higher than Kate because she called a spade a spade concerning that whole Sodastream brouhaha.
I'll also accept fellow SI swim smoke Emily Ratajkowski's lofty perch. Emily has been on so many "Best Of" lists, I don't even have to look how to spell her name anymore. Remember the silent "J!"
Jennifer Lawrence being knighted the "sexiest woman in the world" is a stunner. Congrats?
The lesson from this episode is while FHM stood so tall back the day, it is the SI swim smoke magazine that out FHM-ed FHM by knowing how to adapt to the digital age. Take notes FHM:
There's a reason why SI put Kate on its cover three straight years.