One of the few Americans who emerged from Sochi with gold-plated hardware was Olympic slopestyle snowboarder Sage Kotsenburg. Fortune favors the bold, which is why Kotsenburg won with an upset victory, while the "Artist Formerly Known As The Flight Tomato" Shaun White shied away from the event and came away with bupkis.
Before Sochi, Kotsenburg seems to have been stopped often in the street, mistaken for a certain swimsuit model.
"@sagekotsenburg: Yooo pic.twitter.com/c3BtXgsFQI" I can't tell which one is me!! Haha
— Kate Upton (@KateUpton) February 25, 2014
Even Kate Upton herself was taken aback by the resemblance. She gives Kotsenburg too much credit.
True believers can spot counterfeit Kates from a mile away.
Kotsenburg does boast some luscious locks of his own, however.
But he can't Dougie with helmet hair.
That rear grab helped propel Kotsenburg, and America, to the gold. We thank him for that.
But talk to me when he shatters the atmosphere.
Olympians enjoy a fleeting celebrity with the briefest of expiration dates.
Kate has the type of celebrity that lasts a lifetime.
Kotsenburg eats hot pockets, he doesn't sell them.
Most of all, Kotsenburg performed admirably for his country.
But you can't get more 'Murica than below.
Nothing better than the real Kate. Pretenders need not apply.