ADVERTISEMENT

I Want To Be Ali Spagnola's Pro-Rager Wingman

Ali Spagnola Instagram
September 19, 2013

Power hours are the drinking game for endurance athletes with ADHD. Ripping shots of Beast for sixty minutes doesn’t require the surgeon-like dexterity of beer pong or the interpretive rules of Kings. Unlike the patience required for hours-long games of quarters, all power hours require is a skilled DJ.

Ali Spagnola has gone ahead and composed the music for your next power hour.

Ali Spagnola Facebook
Ali Spagnola Facebook

Spagnola has created a brand by becoming the Pied Piper of conducting ragers.

Ali Spagnola Facebook
Ali Spagnola Facebook

Now she’s looking for the Flava Flav to her Chuck D.

Ali Spagnola Instagram
Ali Spagnola Instagram


Ali, I would like to submit my application.

While I croon "Kiss From A Rose" just like the best of them, I have no classic training in comedy, improvisation, or music. What I can do is be your bard.

I am a Washington, DC, metro area authority on bros. Much like Chaucer in the Knight's Tale, I can shout, chant, and champion your unparalleled shredding skills and hard drinking across our land of purple mountain majesty.

Ali Spagnola Instagram
Ali Spagnola Instagram

I'll also organize the ice luge.

nicolef0lino Instagram
nicolef0lino Instagram

I'll stir the very souls of our fellow ragers as I pour up shots on shots.

mmm_mmm_mari Instagram
mmm_mmm_mari Instagram

I’m also a stellar driver.
drivingcar

And I can double as your personal trainer.

Ali Spagnola Instagram
Ali Spagnola Instagram

Take me as your Goose, Maverick, and we will put America on the highway to the rager zone.

God bless you, Ali Spagnola, and god bless the United States of America.

Published under: Smokes