Claim: "People shouldn’t be drinking, especially when you’re a redneck, on the House floor."
Who said it:
Rep. Tim Burchett (R., Tenn.), while discussing the confrontation between Reps. Mike Rogers (R., Ala.) and Matt Gaetz (R., Fla.) on the House floor after the chamber's 14th failed attempt to elect a speaker.
Why it matters:
The Washington Free Beacon is uniquely suited to suss fact from fiction on matters of alcohol and degenerate behavior.
Context:
The U.S. Congress is a pretend high school for people who were bullied in real high school—a bunch of cocky nerds who will never realize how dumb they really are.
"I would drop him like a bag of dirt," Burchett bragged to a female reporter after the heated exchange of words about the ceremonial vote most normal Americans aren't following on account of their meaningful lives. "Nobody's gonna put their hands on me. Nobody's gonna threaten me."
Analysis:
Of course these hooligan dorks should be drinking on the House floor. Even the rednecks. Especially the rednecks! Members of Congress should always be drinking and brawling and starting wars. That is how America was founded. That is why America was founded. Our country is at its best when our elected officials are maximally inebriated. Congressman Burchett should read the goddamned Constitution.