Maybe you missed yesterday's devastating look at Ted Cruz's college years by the Daily Beast. Here's Conn Carrol's succinct description of the piece:
In addition to her bombshell that Cruz sometimes wore a bathrobe in co-ed dorm, Murphy also revealed that Cruz played Nintendo in his dorm room with other debaters, could be described as "intense" and "strident," and once got involved in a poker game where he lost heavily.
Murphy then reports that after Cruz lost $1,800 in a card game, he quit playing, got the cash from his aunt, and then worked two jobs to pay his aunt back over the next two years. The horror.
Indeed. The most interesting nugget, though, was that Cruz apparently roomed with Craig Mazin. You may not know who Craig Mazin is. I barely knew who he was until I checked his IMDB page. And then it all came flooding back. Turns out he's a writer and director and, perhaps most importantly, is doing more damage to America's reputation than Ted Cruz ever could even if Cruz became president and nuked China while simultaneously pouring sugar in everyone's gas tanks.
Behold: five reasons why Ted Cruz's Princeton roommate is horrible for America.
1. He wrote and directed this movie:
Superhero Movie, 16 percent fresh on Rotten Tomatoes. "The very act of writing critically about Superhero inspires something of an existential crisis": Mark Olson, LA Times.
2. He wrote this movie:
Scary Movie 3, 36 percent fresh on Rotten Tomatoes. "The film's comic philosophy might best be summed up this way: If you think it's funny seeing [Charlie] Sheen bang his head against a lamp once, then it's twice as funny to see him do it twice": James Verniere, Boston Globe.
3. He wrote this movie:
Scary Movie 4, 37 percent fresh on Rotten Tomatoes. "Much of the humor feels tired and unfunny": Moira MacDonald, Seattle Times.
4. He wrote this movie:
The Hangover Part II, 34 percent fresh on Rotten Tomatoes. "If you love the first film, seriously, do not see this one. You'll ruin two movies at once": Will Leitch, Deadspin.
5. He wrote this movie:
The Hangover Part III, 19 percent fresh on Rotten Tomatoes. An "odious, mean-spirited movie": Rene Rodriguez, Miami Herald.