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Clinton Asks Crowd If They Know What 'Suh'mores' Are

You're killin' me, Smalls

August 18, 2015

Hillary Clinton asked supporters at a Nevada town hall Tuesday if they knew what "Suh'mores" were, butchering the pronunciation of the classic childhood treat "s’mores."

"You know what s'mores are?" Clinton asked. "You know, with the graham crackers, and the marshmallows, and the chocolate over the campfire."

Clinton's odd pronunciation would certainly have disappointed Hamilton "Ham" Porter of "The Sandlot." In the classic 1990s film, the narrator "Smalls," a novice in baseball and life compared to the friends he meets playing baseball at the titular sandlot, is told about the delicious treat by Ham but is confused when asked if he wants a "s'more."

"Some more what?" Smalls asked. "No, no, do you want a s'more?" Ham repeats kindly. "I haven't had anything yet, so how I can have some more of nothing?" Smalls, the perpetual goob, replies. "You're killing me, Smalls!" Ham says in frustration. He then proceeds to offer an economical description to his young, inexperienced friend of how to create and then devour the wonderful treat.

"Pay attention. First, you take the graham. You stick the chocolate on the graham. Then you roast the mallow. When the mallow's flaming, you stick it on the chocolate. Then, you cover it with the other end. Then, you scarf," as Ham goes on to enjoy a well-deserved meal.

Clinton could probably take lessons from Porter, a bulky and fearless catcher, one of the Sandlot's finest hitters and also a well-known smack talker. His flurry of insults traded with an upper-class kid from the other side of town serves as an inspiration to the rest of his teammates, who trounce the better-dressed but less-skilled rivals in a baseball game the following day. Porter's famous smackdown of "You play ball like a girl" still stings to this day.

Published under: Hillary Clinton