Welcome to the latest edition of Free Beacon Comics. Previous versions can be found here.
Media Matters! is a comic strip that documents the wacky adventures of truth warriors David Brock and Eric Boehlert. The so-called mainstream media has it in for Hillary Clinton, but Brock and Boehlert will stop at nothing to expose their lies. It’s a dirty job, but someone’s gotta do it. In the trenches of the war for justice, friendships are put to the test, but at the end of the day, these heroes never fail to prove themselves worthy servants of The Cause. (Note: The dialogue for these comics is comprised (almost exclusively) of verbatim quotes lifted from Boehlert’s Twitter feed.)
I don’t always read the news, but when I do, I prefer to read about things that are, you know, actually new. That’s why I was frustrated to read this morning about a 40-something Harvard grad, barely a third of the way through his first term as U.S. Senator, announcing a White House bid in front of a crowd of screaming millennials. Stop me if this sounds familiar. I had to double-check the year on my calendar to make sure I wasn’t having another flashback or malaria-induced fever dream.
I’ve never been a fan of Ted Cruz. His so-called “conservatism” has always struck me as phonier than Barack Obama’s so-called “birth certificate.” I thought his coloring book was a heaping pile of left-wing propaganda aimed at our nation’s youth, and don’t get me started on his perverse obsession with Hollywood actor Ronald Reagan.
Hillary Clinton, it seems, did not want to use an official government email address to conduct State Department business. There is, literally, only one reason for her to do such a thing: minimize transparency. That’s it. That’s the only legitimate reason: she wanted as few of her communications as possible to be exposed to FOIA requests.
At first, I thought there’s something kind of surprising about the brazenness here—I mean, it’s not every day you hear lawyers throw around phrases like “nuclear winter” in the paper of record when discussing possible explanations for potentially illegal behavior. But maybe not. This is a Clinton we’re talking about, after all. I assume there’s a 18-and-a-half-email gap in the archives somewhere.
It seems to me that the only reasonable solution to this is to require Hillary to turn over access to every email account she used during her tenure as secretary of State and make them FOIA-able. While this would undoubtedly be embarrassing, it would serve as a warning for future government officials: if you don’t play by the rules, you pay a very serious price.
The whole thing got me thinking, however. What could she be hiding?