After poring over public statements made by New York Governor Andrew Cuomo within the past few months, the Washington Free Beacon has concluded that the governor does not understand, well, words.
Now, a cynic might note that all of Cuomo's botched vocabulary listed below also enhances his personal biography. They might conclude that Cuomo lies about his own background because he's self-conscious about the fact that he's a rich kid who's only accomplished anything by virtue of being the son of his more talented father, former New York Governor Mario Cuomo. They might suggest that Cuomo is insecure about the notion that if he were born a poor nobody, he would've never been elected to public office, given his lack of charisma, intelligence, and functioning moral compass.
But that wouldn't be fair to Cuomo. What's clearly going on is the man suffers from a chronic condition that leaves him unable to comprehend that words typically carry specific meanings, and that when using those words in sentences, those words must correspond with said meanings. Truly he deserves our sympathy.
In the past year, for example, Cuomo has claimed:
He is an "immigrant": "We are a state of immigrants. I am an immigrant. I'm wholly against this anti-immigrant fever that has been stoked during the political campaign," Cuomo said in a September rebuke of Donald Trump's immigration policies.
Cuomo is, in fact, not an immigrant. He was born in New York. "Immigrant" is a word for someone who moves from one country to another. Also, if Cuomo were an immigrant, it wouldn't bode well for his presidential ambitions.
His parents were "poor" and "immigrants": "I am a born and raised New Yorker," Cuomo said at a campaign rally a week ago. "Born in Hollis, Queens. Raised by poor immigrants from South Jamaica."
Both of Cuomo's parents were born in the United States, which makes neither of them immigrants (see above).
Nor were they particularly poor when raising him. "Poor" is a word that means "not rich." Yet Andrew's father Mario Cuomo graduated top of his class at St. John's law school and joined a prestigious law firm, while his mother was the daughter of a millionaire supermarket mogul.
He is "undocumented": "You know what they called Italian-Americans back in the day? They called them 'wops,'" Cuomo said last week." You know what 'wop' stood for? 'Without papers.' I’m undocumented. You want to deport an undocumented person, start with me, because I’m an undocumented person."
"Undocumented" is the euphemistic, politically correct term for "illegal immigrant," which is an "immigrant" who is not in the country legally. As established, "immigrant" is a word for someone who is not originally from the country. Cuomo was born in New York, and therefore cannot be undocumented.
Cuomo also botches the origin of "wop." Merriam-Webster tracks the etymology to guappo, Italian slang for a tough swaggerer. The notion that it means "without papers" is an example of what experts call "false etymology," a process by which someone makes something up in a chain email and later at Thanksgiving you have to explain, no Uncle Andy, "gringo" doesn't come from Mexicans trying to say "Green, go" to American soldiers, and then you get in an argument and uncle refuses to admit he's wrong even when you Google it and the result shows that gringo is derived from the Spanish for "Greek," which is what you said in the first place, but your mom makes you apologize anyway.
He is "middle class": "I'm a middle class guy. That's who I am. That's where I come from,'' Cuomo said at a campaign event over the weekend.
"Middle class" means someone who is neither rich nor poor, but resides somewhere in the "middle" (thus the name). Cuomo declared an income of $212,776 last year, which is more than three times the median U.S. household income of $59,039. Before going into public service, Cuomo was making more than a million dollars a year as an advisor to a real estate mogul.
The notion that Cuomo "came from" a middle class background is particularly confusing, given that he made this claim a few days after he said he was raised by poor immigrants.
He is "a Muslim," "a Jew," "Black," "gay," and "a woman":
As a New Yorker, I am a Muslim. I am a Jew. I am Black. I am gay. I am a woman seeking to control her body. We are one New York. pic.twitter.com/peOL9x2ltl
— Andrew Cuomo (@NYGovCuomo) January 29, 2017
Yeah, no.