Nobody Cares About the Clinton Email Scandal, Says Clinton Camp

The Federal Bureau of Investigation is investigating Hillary Clinton’s private email server to determine if its use violated the Espionage Act.

The unsecured server contained top-secret spy satellite information, raising the possibility that Clinton’s decision to go outside official channels for her correspondence jeopardized national security.

That being said, the whole situation is a total snooze that is only interesting to the buzzards in the press, Clinton and her allies say.

"Nobody talks to me about it other than you guys," Clinton said at the end of a press conference that addressed the scandal.

"It’s not anything that people talk to me about as I travel around the country," Clinton said at the Iowa State Fair.

Despite repeated assurances, Clinton’s falling poll numbers seem to indicate that the email scandal is taking its toll.

The scandal’s sordid twists have contributed to the public perception of Clinton as dishonest, untrustworthy, and a "liar."