2018 Man of the Year: Toilet Bowl Terrorist

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December 27, 2018

A great measure of a man's wit is his ability to quickly produce an excuse. Comedy legend Eddie Murphy, pulled over at 4:45 a.m. with a transsexual prostitute in his car, said he was simply giving them a ride home. News anchor Ron Burgundy, caught by a coworker in an excited state, blamed an optical illusion created by the pattern on his pants for the misunderstanding. Bill Clinton, caught lying about his affair with a White House intern, said it actually boiled down to a misinterpretation of what the meaning of "is" is.

The latest entry to the Excuse Hall of Fame is Arthur Posey, a thirty-year-old man who was arrested in New Orleans for allegedly threatening to blow up Willie's Chicken Shack. Posey, wearing a green hat, had already left the restaurant when the police, told by store employees that Posey had threatened to "blow this place up," confronted him.

Posey told the police they had it all wrong. He didn't say he was going to blow the restaurant up.

You see, what the employees took for him making a bomb threat was actually just Posey giving too much information about an impending bowel movement, he said, telling the police he just told the store he was going to "blow the bathroom up."

Posey's excuse was undeniably good, but his attempt to get left alone was thwarted by the store manager, who said there was never any mention of a bathroom.

"Y'all about to close right now because I'm going to get a bomb and blow this place up," was what Posey actually said, according to the manager. Another employee said Posey even pointed to the table he planned to put the bomb under.

Seems like a he said, she said situation, but Posey ended up facing two counts of "communication of false information of planned arson." A mental competency hearing was also scheduled.

Some excuses work out better than others, but for his exhibition of stunning wit and ingenuity, Arthur Posey is a Washington Free Beacon Man of the Year.

Published under: Men of the Year