2017 may go down as the manliest year in American history. To be a 2017 Man of the Year means you've gone above and beyond the call of masculinity and rampaged your way into American folklore forever.
For Congressman Greg Gianforte, Man might as well be his middle name.
Running for the state of Montana's at-large open congressional seat in late spring, Gianforte entered as a heavy favorite in the conservative state.
In an effort to embarrass the newly sworn in president and his party, the fake news media, as it often does in special elections, flocked to Big Sky Country to trumpet the chances of the Democrat running against Gianforte and proclaimed the race "too close to call."
The race featured a matchup of classic political stereotypes.
His main opponent was a Democrat by the name of John Quist.
Quist was a little-known traveling folksinger whose most notorious gigs included annual performances at an Idaho nudist resort. Other highlights on his resume included financial debts and a case of genital herpes. Needless to say, the national press corps was smitten.
As Election Day inched closer, press scrutiny and coverage of the race became more intense. The candidates were surrounded by packs of seething, sniveling journalists with poor personal hygiene and a bloodlust for making a Republican look bad on the record.
It all came to a head on election eve when a reporter for liberal British news publication, the Guardian, tried to pigeonhole Gianforte over his support for the House GOP's healthcare bill. After Gianforte politely declined to answer the Guardian‘s question, the reporter persisted. And that's when *things* got real.
Gianforte, clearly sick of the nonsense of the national press corps and their concern trolling for the well being of the citizens of Montana, decided to let his fists do the talking.
He proceeded to pick up pint-sized reporter Ben Jacobs and then allegedly "body-slammed" him. This move—denounced at the time by members of the lamestream media—paid huge political dividends as Gianforte coasted to election the very next evening. He had secured true man of the people bona fides, seizing on the public's anger with the mainstream press and acting out what the average American merely dreams about.
Congressman Greg Gianforte, for standing up to the fake news media and showing other GOP candidates a viable strategy to ensure victory, the Washington Free Beacon is proud to call you a 2017 Man of the Year.
Published under: Men of the Year