Jon Stewart to Retire, Media Hardest Hit

Left-wing comedian Jon Stewart's array of sycophants in liberal and supposedly mainstream outlets mourned the news of his impending retirement from The Daily Show Tuesday and Wednesday.

They tended to agree he was going out on a "high note." Personalties from NBC to MSNBC to ABC to CBS to almost anywhere have greeted clips of his super-timely commentaries on the Iraq War and Bush administration with obsequious laughter and much serious nodding of the head throughout the years.

It is unknown how Stewart's eventual departure will affect outlets who summarize his incredible destroyer segments with stenographer-like accuracy.