The 2016 Democratic field is a sad collection of old white people, and could become even older and whiter if Joe Biden, 72, decides to run. It's sort of pathetic, actually.
The Republican field, by contrast, is diverse, young, and far more entertaining. But what if it looked more like the Democratic field? By attempting to construct an equivalent collection of GOP candidates, we can get a better sense of the pathetic nature of this year's Democratic field.
Hillary Clinton = Dick Cheney
Old, career politician, despised by left wing of Democratic Party, pro-Iraq War, human-machine hybrid (Cheney's heart; Hillary's whole being)
Bernie Sanders = Ron Paul
Old, crotchety, paranoid, alternative ideologue, popular with millennial hipsters
Martin O'Malley = Arizona Governor Doug Ducey
Governor no one has heard of, looks like a total bro
Lincoln Chafee = Charlie Crist
Generic former governor, party switcher
Jim Webb = Lindsey Graham
Senator and military veteran with a focus on foreign policy, polling at zero percent
Harvard Professor Lawrence Lessig = Joe the Plumber
Irrelevant caricature
Joe Biden = Mitt Romney
The president we need, but don't deserve; the only candidate who can save his party
Imagine if the 2016 Republican field looked like this:
That's how sad the modern Democratic Party has become.