We didn’t even get 15 minutes to enjoy all those Nina Agdal photos I curated for you gentle readers before LeBron followed Michael Sam’s media strategy and announced via Sports Illustrated that he was returning to Cleveland.
EXCLUSIVE: I'm Coming HOME by @KingJames http://t.co/3dAzWO3ZXH (via @SI_LeeJenkins) pic.twitter.com/wIxfyojPIQ
— Sports Illustrated (@SInow) July 11, 2014
Pray for the Heat superfan in this difficult time. 
There are three major reasons LeBron is moving back to Ohio.
1) Max Money and Young Talent. Winning the NBA draft lottery three times undoubtedly helped the Cavs in between the LeBron eras. The Cavs bottomed out for three straight seasons, never daring to offer serious money to any free agents, which would have hindered their negotiations when LeBron’s player option in Miami was up. The Cavs are also expected to be heavily involved in efforts to acquire supporting staff for King James, given their trading chips and cap space.
Cleveland has cap space to lure LeBron loyalists Mike Miller and Ray Allen to fortify their backcourt, as well as draft picks and 2014’s first overall pick Andrew Wiggins to flip for all-star players like Kevin Love or Al Horford. Most importantly, Cleveland has a young and talented nucleus, including Kyrie Irving. Most notable in LeBron's SI letter was his stated willingness to exercise patience and allow Cleveland to build a roster for the future.
2) You’ll never understand an Ohioan. LeBron is willing to exercise patience because the Cavs had one asset that no other team in the league owns: they’re in Ohio. 
Ohioans view of Ohio is, simply, disconnected from reality. More so, they mount rather spirited defenses of Ohio when outsiders point out that it is, generally speaking, a dreadful place to live.
@_Charette_ love people like you who open their mouths and shit comes out... Go back to your "big" newspaper a-hole — Michael (@buzzthemailman) July 10, 2014
A view from us on the outside:
if this were recruiting, it’d be the part where someone tells cleveland fans DON’T SCARE HIM AWAY ACTING LIKE YOURSELVES! — Bomani Jones (@bomani_jones) July 11, 2014
The truth is that Ohioans acting like Ohioans was never a negative for LeBron. He's just another Buckeye fan.
Yuck.
3) Bandwagon Fans.
Guarantee Drake is sitting court-side opening night decked out in all Cavs gear...sitting next to Johnny Football.
— NBA Legion (@MySportsLegion) July 11, 2014
.@drake about to be the biggest cavs and browns fan. pic.twitter.com/4QNwVhfiqU
— Robert (@RobertoNye) July 11, 2014