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Stephon Marbury is Now An Honorary Citizen of China

AP
April 4, 2014

Basketball must be the universal language. It really says something when Dennis Rodman, out of millions of Americans, is treated to the Nork VIP treatment. There must be something about wearing a wedding dress that really speaks to the world's most brutal despots.

Like its neighboring totalitarian regime, China has a disdain for freedom and a soft-spot for crazy people. If you ever wondered what happened to shoe mogul Stephon Marbury, he's doing just fine. Starbury is being hailed as a national hero for winning back-to-back Chinese Basketball Association titles for the hometown Beijing Ducks.

AP
AP

The Chinese love Starbury so much, they've gifted him a key to the city and issued him "honorary citizenship." As Starbury tweeted on Chinese Twitter (real Twitter is banned in China because of that pesky thing called free speech) after the ceremony, "The key of the city of BEIJING belongs to the people."

Stephon Marbury

Having played ball in China since 2009, it appears Starbury is cool with the style of governance of his adopted hometown. Brooklyn must be happy to let Beijing take Starbury off its hands.

AP
AP

While it’s commonplace for fading American pro hoopsters to wring every drop of talent out of their bodies by cashing out overseas, Starbury has gone the extra step. Aside from being gifted a bronze statue of himself after leading Beijing to their first CBA title, and rumors of his becoming China's national team head coach, Starbury is a fountain of anti-Americanism.

Stephon Marbury

The only obvious lesson to take away from Starbury's cautionary tale from NBA pariah to Chicom basketball flunky: don't eat Vaseline.

Edward Snowden must be waiting for his key to Moscow any day now.

Published under: Sports