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Miss America 2013 Swimsuit Recap (Photos)

September 16, 2013

No event in the Miss America Pageant fully tests the mettle of its competitors than the swimsuit competition.

Miss Kansas—my pre-pageant pick—led the festivities.

KS Smile

ABC's cameras paid no mind to Miss Kansas's hyped tattoos.KS

Her tats were the last place eyes went.KS Full Body

Miss California answered the Syria question in 17 seconds better than Obama has in three weeks.

CA Smile

The eventual winner Miss New York accepted her crown from last year's Miss America, who she once called "fat."

NY Walk

Miss Oklahoma answered in the Q&A segment that she respected Miley Cyrus's performance at the VMAs, which involved, and I quote, "licking the butt of a stuff bear."

OK Smile

Dawgs on Top, Miss Georgia.
GA

Miss Florida tweaked her knee during a preliminary in the talent competition.

FL

Sporting the knee brace, Miss Florida did better last night than RG3.
FL Spin Move

Miss Kansas overcame adversity one more time, toppling stereotypes that beauty queens look tacky with ink. There's nothing tacky about Theresa Vail.
KS Win

She fell short when her original talent, archery, was ruled ineligible due to the contest's "no projectiles" clause.

Published under: Smokes