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Inhofe 2016

For America

Jim Inhofe
Jim Inhofe / AP
• January 8, 2015 3:31 pm

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While the Washington Free Beacon does not typically participate in the endorsement game, I find myself compelled to encourage the entry of a candidate that many inside-the-Beltway pundits have not considered, but against whom all should be measured.

Should he announce his candidacy, I, Fab Horatio Montoya, Free Beacon style editor and bon vivant, stand ready to fully endorse, support, and defend to the death Oklahoma Sen. James Mountain Inhofe in his quest for the presidency in 2016.

The Washington Post published earlier today a must-read Style section profile of the man who is inarguably America’s best senator.

Inhofe, for those who may be unfamiliar with his record, is our nation’s foremost defender against science-perverting global warming exaggerators and has recently regained his gavel as the chairman of the Senate’s Environment and Public Works Committee from the short-fingered clutches of the radical and soon-to-be retired liberal hobgoblin Barbara Boxer (D., Ca.).

Inhofe’s résumé holds myriad qualifications for the highest office in the land: He is a veteran, skilled aviator, rancher, small business owner, gun owner, former mayor, grandfather, and, according to his Senate colleagues, an overall great guy.

In addition to his commitment to protecting America from the internal threats posed by the climate science perverts, Inhofe has been a stalwart defender of America’s armed forces and an advocate for eliminating the threats posed by radical Islamic terrorists as a senior member of the Senate Armed Services Committee.

Inhofe is also a gifted communicator and fashionista. After the Post reporter asked him about his eye-catching cowboy boots, he responded, "They’re ostrich … Probably some endangered species, I have a reputation to maintain."

Finally, if any questions remain on whether Inhofe will be able to raise the necessary funds to fuel a national campaign, the quote he provided to the Post should answer them clearly:

"Anytime someone asks me how much money I get from the oil industry, I always tell them the same thing," he said with a smile. ‘Not enough."

What more could any freedom-loving American ask for when searching for the next president?

Inhofe 2016. For America.

Published under: 2016 Election, Humor, Jim Inhofe, Satire