I’ve taken great care to document for you, the reader, the trials and tribulations of NFL cheerleaders. These gifted dancers are often stereotyped as nothing more than pretty faces with pompoms. In reality, they are scientists, attorneys, and funeral directors. On top of all of these duties, they have to rehearse aerial sideswipes, leaving no time for the essential administrative work of organizing promotions and selling sponsorships.
For this spring, my hometown Redskins are looking for an intern. And honestly Skins, who would be a better candidate than I, the Mid-Atlantic's brothority of cheer-smokes?
Below are the job's qualifications:
- Must be available for all Cheerleader special events
- Available to attend Cheerleader rehearsals Tues & Thurs evenings
- Flexibility to work extended hours, including some nights and weekends during youth camps
- Strong communication skills both written and verbal
- Current undergraduate or graduate student
- Quick to learn new skills
- Strong phone skills and confidence making cold calls
- Outgoing with a take charge attitude
Needless to say, I have sterling communication skills, and thanks to the wonders of modern technology, namely Google Translate, I can praise the female form in multiple languages.
I also have excellent photography skills. How about this Afghan girl rocking a San Francisco Giants hoodie? I didn't take the picture. But I could have!
Nothing hotter than a cheersmoke in a bomb detection suit right out of "The Hurt Locker."
My understanding is that the Redskins are only hiring current students. But I did my homework on their 2013 roster like I was still in school!
For example, Morgan's biggest inspiration is her family.
Susan is a proud Penn State grad. That's something we have in common.
Most importantly: Dan Snyder, I know the importance of unpaid internships.