Hard Knocks does such a superb job manufacturing warm fuzzies on a weekly basis between the audience and the random players. The show's efficient storytelling is easily its greatest strength.
This week’s victim is Aaron Maybin, another flamed out first-round pick looking to drink the same Cincinnati Kool-Aid that revived the careers of Pacman Jones and Terrence Newman.
Maybin was a stud in college, but deemed too undersized to make it in the pros. Leading into the draft, Maybin packed on so much muscle, he literally lifted himself into the first round, while weighing himself down with high expectations that he has yet been unable to fulfill in the league.
On the other end of the spectrum is James Harrison. Harrison went undrafted and toiled on scout teams until breaking through years later, eventually becoming one of the most feared players in the league.
Maybin should look into Harrison's regimen to get back in the league.
Acupuncture works. Harrison might be able to sub in for Dalton.
There'll be a roster spot open for quarterbacks.
Harrison will likely surpass last year’s team tackle leader Vontaze Burfict. Burfict is another headcase Cincy turned into a legit force.
Burfict's teammate on defense is Taylor Mays, who like Burfict played college ball in the Pac-12 and who the Bengals got for a pittance. Envying Superman in training camp, Mays envied Iron Man this week.
After three weeks of build-up, in a bigger reveal than the titular Mother of HIMYM, we finally met Mays’ girlfriend.
Apparently after months of separation in a cross-country relationship, Mays and Lauren reacquaint themselves by playing Uno.
They also play with Mays' diverse backpack collection.
No word if Lauren made Mays keep the bandana on after the cameras left.
Because it's already happened in the Bengals locker room, it's time to compare Mays’ girl with the other first ladies of Cincinnati.
We have the Pilates instructor, Mrs. Dalton.
Beating out Mrs. Dalton and Lauren is the champ of this season, Gio Bernard’s ladyfriend. She wins namely for her mom selling her mini-van to Gio.
Nard Dog’s van drew rave reviews from fellow mini-van drivers.
Unfortunately, it was left out of the "hip-hop driving to practice" montage.
The Bengals won their second pre-season game and will be going forward without Maybin, cutting the linebacker.
But don’t fret, Hard Knocks will make us fall in love all over again next week.