Some good news in the wake of President Obama’s embarrassing gaffe of referring to soccer as "football" during a press conference in (you guessed it) Europe.
The Wall Street Journal reports that, according to a recent ING survey, Americans don’t care about soccer, which is a dull sport characterized by faux-injury and extravagant faking–one of the only sports that closely resembles socialism.
When asked how much money they’d be willing to pay to ensure that their country’s team would win the World Cup, the average American response was a mere 37 euros. That’s still far too high, obviously, but it was exceptional enough to secure last place (barely) behind the Netherlands.
The correct answer is: No American should ever spend any amount of time or money on soccer. At least, not until the American team is talented enough to win the World Cup, which they aren't. In the meantime, there's no point in caring about something Americans aren't the best at. President Obama should take this data to heart.