CRUNCH TIME: Biden Has Less Than a Year To Fulfill His Campaign Promise of Curing Cancer

No, we're not kidding. He actually said that.

(Drew Angerer/Getty Images)
January 25, 2024

Several months after announcing his candidacy for president in 2019, Joe Biden said the following: "I promise you if I'm elected president, you're going to see the single most important thing that changes America, we're gonna cure cancer."

No president is guaranteed a second term, and Biden seemed to suggest at times during the 2020 campaign that he would only serve one term as president. He described himself as a "transition candidate" and a "bridge" to a new generation of Democratic leadership.

Therefore we must conclude that Biden, 81, was promising the American people that he would cure cancer within four years of taking office. He now has 361 days to find a cure. If Biden was telling the truth, the cancer problem will be solved by the time Donald Trump is sworn in for a second term on January 20, 2025. Otherwise we'll be forced to reckon with the fact that our president is a lying liar who lies.

Don't get your hopes up. This is the same president who botched the Afghanistan withdrawal after promising everything would be just fine. Earlier this week, Biden accidentally admitted that his administration has been lying about the border crisis for years. He's probably not going to cure cancer in four years like he promised.

It wouldn't be the first time Biden lied about cancer. During a bizarre 2022 speech in Massachusetts, the president implied he currently had cancer as a result of growing up around oil refineries. Biden's team of handlers was forced to clarify that the president was referring to a prior diagnosis of skin cancer—caused by sun exposure, not oil refineries—that was treated before he took office.

Recent evidence suggests Biden is unable or unwilling to protect his skin from the sun's cancer-inducing rays. In our humble assessment, the president is more likely to die from cancer (or natural causes) before the end of his term than he is to find a cure. Prove us wrong, Sleepy Joe!

Published under: Joe Biden