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Doug Gansler Knows How to Party

AP
October 24, 2013

Small Businesses, upper-income earners, and gun owners are fleeing Maryland in droves. Now, in the aftermath of the Baltimore Sun's bombshell report, will bros be far behind?

Maryland Attorney General Doug Gansler, who has a need for speed, got caught in an Instagram this summer, popping in on his son’s senior week rager to have a few words with Junior. He had a speck of trouble moving through the hootenanny, shuffling past the grinding Patriot on the kitchen table and the totally, 100-percent sober high school students lodged into the house. Check it out:

ErinatTheSun Twitter
ErinatTheSun Twitter

Don't let the image deceive you: Bros face a worthy adversary in Gansler. The Democrat and gubernatorial candidate is a dogged opponent of underage drinking, and last month released his latest PSA against whippersnappers getting wet. Yes, he turns a blind eye when the revelers are friends of his family. But what about everyone else?

Who will speak for the bros?

The days of Terrapin keg stands are numbered.

pfo3iv Instagram
pfo3iv Instagram

Stay on the look out for Gansler mandating beer bongs only be equipped with one hose, hence putting hexa-bongs out of business forever.

cahleighcarneyy Instagram
cahleighcarneyy Instagram

Or maybe he'll try to classify passing out with your shoes on as "bullying."

2asain4u Instagram
2asain4u Instagram

Under a Gansler administration, these eager young ragers would be treated like the West Coast gangsters whose signs they are flashing.

caseylmain Instagram
caseylmain Instagram

Be on the lookout, fellow bros. During the same week it ran this exposé, The Sun published an editorial in favor of regulating hookah.

Escape to Virginia while you can!