In the latest commentary on our TMI social media generation, a man's detailed spreadsheet chronicling his wife's constant refusal to make love with him (along with the reasons given) have made it to the Internet and caused a sensation.
A Reddit user named throwwwwaway29 over-shared the spreadsheet with the universe on Friday and it was quickly picked up by various websites over the weekend. Here's how she presented it under the headline "My husband [M26] sent a rude, argumentative email as I [F26] was on the way to the airport for a 10-day work trip. Now he has cut contact." in the "Relationships" section of Reddit:
Yesterday morning, while in a taxi on the way to the airport, Husband sends a message to my work email which is connected to my phone. He's never done this, we always communicate in person or by text. I open it up, and it's a sarcastic diatribe basically saying he won't miss me for the 10 days I'm gone. Attached is a SPREADSHEET of all the times he has tried to initiate sex since June 1st, with a column for my "excuses", using verbatim quotes of why I didn't feel like having sex at that very moment. According to his ‘document', we've only had sex 3 times in the last 7 weeks, out of 27 "attempts" on his part.
Here is the accompanying "Sexcel" spreadsheet he put together:
Much of the commentary seems to condemn the man for being whiny, obsessive and pouty for gong to the trouble of categorizing her ongoing rejection of his amorous advances. And I get that, the dude seems a bit single-focused here.
However, where is the condemnation of this woman turning to the Internet for help? There's clearly a communication problem in this relationship and this woman looks for advice from the sage and sound participants of the "relationship" section of Reddit?
She chooses to shame her long-suffering and obviously isolated husband on a public forum rather than turn to professionals for some assistance in her marriage? Why? Because she's going to get better help from Reddit users "GoingAllTheJay" and "JustWordsInYourHead" than from a trained therapist? Well, actually, those two had some pretty good advice for her. So I'm not going to judge them, but I am going to judge her.
Hey lady, step away from the social media, look your husband in the eye and have a conversation. Reddit is great, but complaining to the users there is not going to save your marriage … if that's what you're really trying to achieve.