2020 Man of the Year: MAGA Larry David

MAGA Larry David
December 29, 2020

The MAGA hat is this century's peace sign—a beautiful red signal to other normal-thinking Americans that logical discourse is an option. The guy in the red hat isn't going to give you grief for the carbon footprint of your new Ford Gas-Guzzler F3000 or the decision to gender it with the fresh set of camo Truck Nutz you slapped on it. When the possibility of altercation presents itself, as it often does in these tense times, a MAGA hat could be the great diffuser.

That lesson was heard loud and clear this year by Larry David, who despite being ideologically aligned (and actually related) to socialist Bernie Sanders, happened to have one of these magical MAGA hats in his car when he nearly ran a motorcycle off the road.

For most liberals, cutting off a red-blooded American tough guy in your electric BMW i3 while he's hitting the open road on his hog could have some serious ramifications. In fact, the man's initial reaction was as follows:

What the fuck are you doing?! Mother fucker what the fuck?! What are you trying to do man?! What the fuck are you doing, you little fucker? What the fuck? I should rip you out of that fucking car, you little shit!

But then Larry flipped on the magic MAGA hat, and POOF, conflict diffused.

"Oh, just be more careful next time, okay?" the man told Larry with a gentle smile.

And both of them went on their way.

Life turned out to be much easier for Larry when the people of Los Angeles viewed him as a MAGA follower. Just before he avoided getting beat to a pulp, he managed to get out of a lunch with an annoying liberal friend who refused to dine with someone in a MAGA hat.

"It's really coming in handy," Larry told his friend and agent Harvey Weinstein Jeff Greene. "It's a great people repellant."

Yup, Larry, life is good on the other side. Tough guys respect you, and liberal wieners of Hollywood want nothing to do with you. For getting a taste of it, even if just for a day, the Washington Free Beacon salutes you as a 2020 Man of the Year.