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Nationals Lose After Fans Boo Historically Successful President and Terrorist Assassin

Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi is dead and so are the Nats' chances of ever winning a title

The Washington Nationals lost a third consecutive World Series home game on Sunday in front of a sellout crowd of lobbyists and political consultants, a defeat that all but obliterates the team's hopes of lifting the Commissioner's Trophy and bringing a sliver of joy to the dreary lives of Washington, D.C., residents.

Rich Libs in Silicon Valley to Host ‘Poverty Simulation’

Will be held in Cupertino, site of Apple headquarters

Residents of Cupertino, Calif., and the surrounding enclaves populated by wealthy liberals will soon have the opportunity to attend a government-sponsored "poverty simulation" designed to educate participants on "the reality of a Silicon Valley that grows in disparity as much as prosperity."

A Fashion Guide for Trendy Socialists

Justice Democrats is a political action committee dedicated to purging the Democratic Party of corporate-backed establishment types and replacing them with socialist celebrities such as Rep. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez (D., N.Y.) and other members of the so-called "Squad."

Pete Buttigieg Triggers Libs By Taking Advice From Mark Zuckerberg

Mayor Pete "Boat Shoes" Buttigieg, aka "Mayor Beast," wasn't shy about attacking media darling Elizabeth Warren during last week's Democratic primary debate. Now, the establishment-backed candidate is triggering libs all over again following reports that he "quietly" received staffing recommendations from Facebook founder Mark Zuckerberg.

GRANNY GOES ONLINE: Hillary Clinton Tweets Trump Parody Riddled With Genital References

Soon-to-be Democratic frontrunner can't stop posting

Failed politician and likely 2020 presidential nominee Hillary Clinton is either unable or unwilling to stop behaving like someone preparing to enter the underwhelming field of Democratic primary candidates. She keeps logging on, posting things on social-media platforms, and accusing her critics of being Russian spies.

Prominent A-Hole Wants to Impeach Trump

Former Governor John Kasich (R., Ohio), a legendary asshole even by modern political standards, said Friday that he has been pushed "across the Rubicon," and now thinks President Donald Trump should be impeached.

Debate Advice For Every Democratic Candidate Taking the Stage In Ohio

Twelve Democratic presidential candidates will face off Tuesday night at Otterbein University in Westerville, Ohio, site of the fourth Democratic primary debate, hosted by CNN and the New York Times. Here is some unsolicited advice for each of the candidates designed to help them gain the upper hand over their opponents.