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Jimmy Kimmel Hosts a PC Thanksgiving Pageant on His Show

November 22, 2016

ABC late night host Jimmy Kimmel hosted a politically correct Thanksgiving pageant on his show Monday night.

The pageant featured children portraying what a first Thanksgiving celebration with pilgrims and Native Americans would have been like had they been forced to adhere to current politically correct standards, Mediaite reported.

A girl who narrated the pageant first cautioned the audience to not clap.

"Please, don't applaud! It's insensitive to people with no arms!" the narrator said.

The scene launched into two pilgrims and two Native Americans discussing gender labels and cultural appropriation.

When they all joined to eat, they first said grace with an uncommon prayer.

"Dear generic higher power who we choose to believe in or not believe in, thank you or never mind," one said.

After someone complained of a maize allergy and how justifiable it was to eat a turkey, everyone was introduced to a Thanksgiving miracle. A Tofurky walked onto the set and said that he was made of bean curd and wheat protein.

The group grabbed a piece of the Tofurky and ate it, only to be disgusted. The gross Tofurkey then gave a lesson to everyone.

"You see, when we all come together and compromise and spend all our time trying to please everyone, we end up with a lumpy mound of brown goo," the Tofurkey said referring to himself.

The pageant ended with a different take on a cherished Christmas carol.