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The One-Man Occupy Protest

May 31, 2013

Everyone has heard at least one story of a homeless student who overcomes the odds to walk with his head held high at his graduation. The circumstances surrounding these situations are heartbreaking: a home destroyed by fire, a parent laid off from work. But James Seckelman, a community college double major who is homeless by choice, has got to be one of the most pretentious d-bags evar.

Cabillo College profiled its faux-martyr, who says he became homeless "to experience things I hadn’t attained yet":

Seckelman quickly learned how to adjusted his life to make it somewhat easier, but first he took the help offered. "When I first came to Santa Cruz, I had about $200. I needed resources that would provide me food. So fortunately, I came to the right place because there is so many homeless." He went to places like the Homeless Service Center in downtown. "The services they provide are amazing. If you need blankets they give you blankets. If you need shoes – whatever you need."

The Santa Cruz Homeless Service Center is for people who are actually in need of help. It's not for some mark who left his upper-middle class home in San Diego to go on a spiritual journey. Seckelman is taking advantage of services provided by the city. He not only vacuums away resources for truly needy people. Dude bathes in McDonald’s bathrooms, thereby oppressing paying customers.

He’s a one-man Occupy protest.

I wouldn’t be so hard on Seckelman if he lived his hobo lifestyle quietly, attaining whatever enlightenment one may find in meditating in a Toyota Matrix. But, typical of all S-Class Slackers, dude's gotta moan about a condition he chose to put himself in.

Seckelman finds this a great challenge with his lifestyle, he said. "I mean it would be nice to have a girlfriend or something, but you got to take the girl out, got to spend time with her…"

Seckelman is the kind of scrub that TLC sang about. He may have a car, but in that car the girl has to scoot around the camp-set-stove he built inside. He also whines about having to work harder in school since he lives in a car. To the reporter’s credit, she asks, "Why don’t you just rent a place?"

"I don’t want to live in a house because I hate the concept of rent. I think it is pointless. … I don’t think that half of our month’s income should go towards rent, or even a third. I think that’s bullshit, so I guess I’m rebelling against that," he said.

Currently Seckelman is double majoring in computer science and business and is considering attending Cal Poly or San Jose State. It’s abundantly clear he doesn’t know what the hell he wants to do with his life. And true to the buster he is, Seckelman's returning home after the semester.

"I have a much greater appreciation for my parents, my family and the things I take for granted, like a sink and a proper stovetop."

Go back home, lil' fella. Let actual homeless people get the help they need.

Published under: Obama Economy