I have a found a system more byzantine and convoluted than the BCS in college football: the World Cup scenarios to advance to the knockout round.
There’s nothing that epitomizes American soccer more than us losing to a European power in a snoozer of a game and STILL advancing. It’s like Notre Dame playing in the 2013 National Championship.
Since we made the American part of the tournament—you know, the part where there's actually winners and losers—it’s time to look ahead to our next target, the young gun Belgianteam.
Specifically at Belgian defender Thomas Vermaelen’s WAG Polly Parsons.
Belgium has long been a leader in bringing open markets to Europe. According to the nation's Wiki:
Belgium was the first continental European country to undergo the Industrial Revolution, in the early 19th century. Liège and Charleroi rapidly developed mining and steelmaking, which flourished until the mid-20th century in the Sambre and Meuse valley and made Belgium among one of the three most industrialized nations in the world from 1830 to 1910.However, by the 1840s the textile industry of Flanders was in severe crisis, and the region experienced famine from 1846 to 1850.
Polly, however, is not Belgian. She's British.
Polly is essentially the British Christina Milian, having launched her career by hosting kids shows beloved by children and their fathers alike.
Now she's a full-fledged media personality.
I guess I should pick a winner for Tuesday's match.
Murica 1 Belgium 0.