D.C. is the only city in the country when Friday happy hour begins at 11:00 AM. That’s even after a Thursday night bar scene rivaling most college towns that's allowed this here "party school" graduate to not miss a beat transitioning from college to the "real world."
Washington’s unquestionable thirst for a good time via beer towers has won it the honor of being "America’s Second-Drunkest ‘State.’" You wonder why real America hates D.C..
D.C. residents consumed 3.89 gallons of alcohol per capita that year — the most recent for which consumption data is available — according to a study from the National Institute on Alcohol Abuse and Alcoholism.
Let’s ignore that one of Kathleen Sebelius’s last acts as HHS secretary was to sanction and subsequently finance with our money this research that classifies D.C. as a "state." This is government waste I can get behind, but only if Sebelius had chipped in a few bucks for my sixer last night.
Be proud, D.C.! As U.S. Senate candidate Tom Cotton said in a National Review profile, the cranes that litter our fine district reflect a healthy and thriving economy. The fact that denizens of the district consume almost a full two gallons more of booze a year than the national average is something we can all be proud of.
However, the 3.89 gallons of alcohol slurped per capita pales in comparison with the number in 2007, when the district was chugging four gallons per person. We’ve gotten soft D.C. Step yo game up!
What "state" denied D.C. from the honorable distinction as America’s drunkest?
That would be the Granite State. New Hampshirites crush 4.65 gallons of sweet nectar per person.
Game respect game.
