Congratulations, you son of a bitch. You made it through another year. An election year, no less. Thanks to the Democratic Party and the mainstream media (to the extent there is a difference), you had to put up with a staggering amount of bullshit.
They scolded you for worrying about illegal immigration, crime, and inflation. They assured you Sleepy Joe Biden was turning things around, that he was a functioning adult who didn't poop his diapers. They doubled down, even when he bragged about beating Medicare, then eventually switched gears and started babbling about how Kamala Harris's hideous cackle was actually the sound of pure joy. They thought you'd be impressed that she was "brat," whatever that means. They insisted she worked at McDonald's and didn't really mean all the crazy things she said in 2019. They expected you to believe that.
They trotted out Doug Emhoff, the slaphappy nanny-seducer, to "redefine" masculinity. They swore that men would go hog-wild for Tim Walz, the veteran who lied about serving in combat, prancing around in a camo hat and pretending to hunt. They wanted you to think the Obamas were still relevant. They couldn't fathom a world in which the candidate endorsed by Queen Latifah and an entire WNBA team (the Seattle Storm) could lose an election to "Adolf Hitler." They tried to shame you for even thinking about voting for Donald Trump, a man they blamed for almost getting assassinated (twice). Democracy and decency were on the ballot, they moaned.
You saw right through the nonsense. You stood your ground, and made the right decision. You flaunted your formidable manhood in their stupid faces. Thanks to you, Trump will serve (at least) another four years as president, and the country can begin to heal. Generations of future Americans will thank you for saving them from the cult of impeccably credentialed lunatics that looks down on normal folks and hates them for questioning its expertise. We couldn't have done this without you.
You—yes, you—are a Washington Free Beacon Man of the Year.
