Best. Oscars. Ever.

seriously tho what is affleck looking at

Random thoughts, in no particular order:

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The Best Decade in Filmmaking History (Plus: New Podcast!)

Francis Ford Coppola accepting an Oscar for The Godfather Part II / AP

In this week’s episode of The Substandard, JVL, Vic, and I discuss the Oscars! Not what’s going to happen this year, really—La La Land is going to win best picture, director, and actress; the only real drama revolves around Casey Affleck and Denzel Washington duking it out for best actor—but what’s happened in past years. JVL chose the five worst winners of all time, Vic picked the five best, and I picked the five worst omissions. It was a lot of fun to record and I think you’ll really enjoy it too. Subscribe! Leave a review.

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Are You Ready For the Coming Chafee Moment?


Regular Beacon readers will remember that my first full-time writing job at this publication was Chafee correspondent during the last election. It was very short-lived, alas. On October 23, scarcely a week after his breakout, “I’ve never had a scandal” performance at the first Democratic presidential debate, he stunned the world by announcing to those of …

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President Trump: Build Up That Death Star!


Big news people: We are almost definitely still alone not alone! According to the Science™:

Life may have evolved on at least three planets in a newly discovered solar system just 39 light years from Earth, NASA has announced.

Astronomers have detected no less than seven Earth-sized worlds orbiting a cool dwarf star known as TRAPPIST-1.

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Young People Should Buy Cheap Couches

The world's worst couch, apparently.

As someone who has a.) bought a couch and b.) shopped at West Elm, but c.) never bought a couch from West Elm, I found this piece on the shoddiness of the West Elm couch “Peggy” to be rather entertaining. Entertaining and informative! Because people are ginormous spendthrifts, apparently.

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John Wick Podcast! John Wick Podcast!

John Wick Podcast

Well, impending heart attack. If we keep shoving fried-chicken-covered tacos down Vic’s gullet, he’s not going to be with us much longer. Subscribe! Leave a review! Every time you leave a review, Donald Trump promises to do a 77-minute press conference. You don’t … hate the press, do you?

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This photographer is selling images to restore the House of Stuart to the British Throne


Matthew Walther is an associate editor, roving correspondent, and photographer for the Washington Free Beacon. Inspired by the recent efforts of the Noor Images collective, he has decided to raise money for a cause very close to his heart: the restoration of Franz, Duke of Bavaria and heir-general to His Majesty James II and VII, …

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IMPORTANT: Why Does Winston Call John Wick ‘Jonathan’?

John Wick

Some modest spoilers for John Wick and John Wick 2 below.

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Emily Ratajkowski, Heroine

Emrata Instagram

Emily Ratajkowski’s status as an American treasure was cemented last night when she sat next to a #FakeNews reporter from the failing New York Times. Sat next to a journalist from the NYT last night who told me “Melania is a hooker.” Whatever your politics it’s crucial to call this out for — Emily Ratajkowski (@emrata) …

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You People Are Idiots

'What do you mean, 'you people'?' 'I mean you, you all, all you dumb dumbs. You're all idiots.'

I made the mistake of defending Donald Trump from charges of fascism on Twitter this weekend:

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CNN Discovers New English Word: ‘Whom’s’


Continuing what has been a scoop-filled banner year for the Atlanta-based media company’s ‘Money’ vertical, reporters at CNN discovered a new word Friday: “whom’s.” It was in the course of their research into the background of Andrew Puzder, the former CEO of Carl’s Jr. and Hardee’s restaurants and President Donald Trump’s nominee to head the …

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Confessions of a Casual Gamer


So, on Wednesday evening, I finished Resident Evil VII: Biohazard. Or possibly “Resident Evil VII: Biohazard”; I don’t know what the preferred style on video game titles is, and I refuse to look it up. Because I don’t review them. Because I only very rarely play them.

I am a casual gamer. This is my confession.

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4 Ways Gorsuch Can Win Over Democrats

Neil Gorsuch

Not enough. What Supreme Court nominee Neil Gorsuch said was apparently insufficient. The appellate court judge used the terms “disheartening” and “demoralizing” to express his views on criticisms of the judiciary. According to Sen. Richard Blumenthal, “I think that telling me that he finds these attacks to be demoralizing or disheartening behind closed doors is not enough.” The Connecticut Democrat insisted Judge Gorsuch “needs to make that statement publicly and condemn this attack on the independence of the judiciary and show the American people that he will be independent.”

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New Substandard: Great Sports Movies and Theme Parks

'Wow, JVL hates this?' 'Yeah, he has no soul.'

On the latest episode of The Substandard, JVL, Vic, and I talk a bit about the Super Bowl and use that as an excuse to chat about our favorite sports movies. Needless to say, my list is perfect while JVL’s is garb. Subscribe! Leave a review. Tweet your thoughts to JVL, he’d love to hear from you.

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