BITTER PILLOWS: Hillary Clinton’s Campaign Apologists Raise More Questions Than Answers, Analysis Finds

Remember Hillary Clinton? The prominent grandmother and public speaking titan who made history in 2016 by becoming the first presidential candidate to lose to an opponent who a) had zero political or military experience and b) used the world “schlong” as a verb in a stump speech? She’s making headlines again. Some people remember Clinton more fondly than others, mainly …

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Fast and Furious Films, Ranked! (New Substandard)

This week, JVL, Vic, and I discussed The Fate of the Furious, the eighth entry in the Fast and/or Furious franchise. Before we get to the important business of the day—ranking Fast and Furious films from worst to best—I feel the need to give Amazon dot com a big ol’ shoutout.

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An Open Letter to Hannah Horvath

Dear Hannah, I am not, in fact, the first person to write you a letter concerning the finale of the television show in which you are a fictional character, but I am almost certainly the only such correspondent whose t-shirt has been praised by your creator (she must be a big Dinosaur Jr. fan!). I am also, I would guess, the …

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Newseum: Let Us Now Praise Silicon Valley Oligarchs Who Abet Chinese Censorship & Oppose Religious Freedom Statutes

Last night the Newseum gave its second annual “free speech award” to Apple CEO Tim Cook. The honor was just one of several “Free Expression” awards that “recognize those who exhibit passion for and dedication to free expression.” I can’t be the only person who found this ironic.

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Châteauneuf-du-Pape: A Tax Day Steal

Who needs a drink? Certainly all those tax-filing procrastinators do—you know, our friends who took to Twitter telling us either they’re about to start filing their taxes with one hour to go or just filed close to midnight.

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The Upside of Communism: Hunger!

Feeling a bit flabby? Worried about that spare tire you’re carrying around? Stuck with 10 stubborn pounds you simply can’t shed? Good news, everyone! We’ve discovered a surefire weight-loss recipe: communism!

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Star Wars: The Last Jedi Trailer (New Mini-Substandard!)

The Last Jedi trailer

OK, so, here’s the thing from Friday that everyone was really excited about that I’m just blogging about now, because timeliness is overrated—almost as overrated as this trailer:

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5 Huma Abedin Classics You Won’t Want to Miss

When it was reported recently that Huma Abedin was seeking $2 million for a book advance, you probably didn’t realize that she was already a major author with five well-reviewed titles to her credit. While none of us can wait for the next one, here are some paperbacks to tide you over in the meantime.* How to …

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What’s Your Favorite Basic Cable Classic? (New Substandard!)

Last weekend was a garbage fire at the multiplex, so JVL, Vic, and I toasted the dearly departed Red Eye and used the excuse of a new Michael Caine movie, Going in Style, to talk about some of our favorite basic cable classics. If you don’t listen to this episode, the bank is going to foreclose on my house and my dog will run away to a no-kill shelter. So, you know, help a brother out by downloading it and reviewing it.

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Free Advice for United CEO Oscar Munoz

It’s been a hellish week for United Airlines CEO Oscar Munoz. The video of passenger David Dao being forcefully ejected from his seat to make way for a United crew member has gone viral, leading to a public relations nightmare for the airline.

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The New Thor Trailer Is Bad

new Thor trailer

I dunno, you guys, but I think the new Thor trailer is actually bad? Dig it:

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I Want the Wendy’s Nuggets Guy to Fail. You Should Too. (UPDATED)

The official Wendy’s Twitter account has developed a reputation for being “fun.” And in an effort to take advantage of this “fun,” one joker asked how many retweets he would have to accumulate in order to earn free chicken nuggets for the year. This is how Wendy’s responded:

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About That Carl’s Jr. Ad

We’re going back to the basics—that’s essentially the message of the redefined Carl’s Jr. fast-food chain. So long to those scantily clad models sinking their teeth into big, juicy burgers.

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Ghost in the Shell Podcast, Featuring ScarJo Rankings (New Substandard!)

Ghost in the Shell podcast

In the latest episode of the Substandard—which climbed to number ten on iTune’s TV & Film Podcasts sub-chart last week; download now and/or leave a review to help us maintain this dominance of what has to be iTunes’ least-popular subsection—JVL, Vic, and I discussed Ghost in the Shell and its star Scarlett Johansson. Vic and JVL also spent five minutes discussing something called “Star Blazers” or “Blazed Stars” or some such, I dunno. Damn Gen Xers. Give it a listen!

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The Grand Mac Is Not a Double Quarter Pounder in Disguise

McDonald’s most recent promotion was a curious one: three sizes of Big Mac, the largest of which was called the Grand Mac. The Big Mac wasn’t all that big to begin with (a mere 1/5 of a pound of beef). So why even waste your time with the single-patty Mac Jr.? But the Grand Mac? Here’s something I’d been waiting for.

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