Here's a thing that literally everyone knows and yet few people in the movie industry want to admit:
3D is fucking garbage and audiences hate it.
Now, look: I get it! 3D is a naked cash grab, a cynical ploy to pry more money out of your ever-shrinking pocketbooks.* It's an artistic abomination, one that leads to discomfort amongst audiences and all sorts of angst amongst the few of us who still choose to go to the movies. No one in Hollywood wants to admit this because no one in Hollywood wants to turn down filthy, filthy lucre. But the simple fact of the matter is that 3D sucks, audiences hate it, and it should be relegated to as few screens as possible.
Don't take my word for it! Take IMAX's:
The giant-screen exhibitor on Wednesday said it will play more digital 2D versions of Hollywood movies domestically, given a "clear preference" from consumers for 2D in North America, according to Imax CEO Richard Gelfond.
Imax Entertainment CEO Greg Foster confirmed during an analyst call that his company will start playing fewer 3D versions of movies and more 2D versions. "The demand for 2D films is starting to exceed 3D in North America," Foster said.
For example, the domestic release of Bladerunner 2049 will be shown in Imax theaters only in 2D this fall.
THE MARKETPLACE WORKS.
Well, it works after a while, anyway. Finally. After years. After the novelty wears off and we realize we've been hoodwinked, bamboozled. After we've discovered that 3D is crap. After years of migraines and shoddy projection and germ-covered shared-and-reshared glasses. But yeah:
THE MARKETPLACE WORKS.
Anyway, here's where we double down, people: NEVER EVER GO SEE A 3D MOVIE. NEVER. Make Hollywood understand that this is no longer a money-earning proposition for them. Make them suffer. Make them bleed. We can do it, but we have to be strong: no more settling for 3D viewings because they are at a more convenient time. No more taking the kids to 3D because they've been brainwashed into thinking it's better. No more, none of that. No more 3D, ever.
*Thanks, Obama.**
**(Please tweet complaints about this joke to Free Beacon ombudsman Biff Diddle. I haven't heard from him in a while and am kind of worried, tbqh.)