The first season of House of Cards wasn't terribly realistic—as I've long argued, if you want a realistic look at life on Capitol Hill and the White House, you're better off watching the bumblers who inhabit Veep—but it at least had some grounding in reality. One of the primary legislative battles, for instance, involved Democrats squaring off against teachers unions, traditionally a Democratic base of power but one that is out of favor with the public (and therefore out of favor with politicians). The way the whole thing shook out was a bit melodramatic, but there was at least a kernel of realism there.
The second season of House of Cards however has been ... well, something else. Here's my sub-140 character review:
There were literally zero plausible storylines on House of Cards this season. At this point Game of Thrones is a far more realistic show.
— Sonny Bunch (@SonnyBunch) February 22, 2014
It was really kind of amazing. Without further ado—and with a number of spoilers—here are the five most ridiculous things to happen in the latest season of Netflix's flagship show.
1. The Vice President Murders a Reporter
He doesn't just murder a reporter, he does it in public in a space surrounded by closed circuit cameras. But the police ruled it an accident, because nothing screams "accident" like "woman flying through the air not under her own power immediately as a train enters the station." #logic
2. The Tea Party Rejects Entitlement Reform to Avert a Government Shutdown
Whereas the first season more or less pretended that Republicans didn't exist—a rather successful ploy to keep the right from screaming "bias!"—by having Democrats fight each other and their own interest groups, the second season introduced the Tea Party wing of the GOP. Personified by Sen. Curtis Haas (R., Obstructionville), the Tea Party so wanted to hurt the Democratic Party that their leader refused a deal that would enact entitlement reform in order to keep the government open. Indeed, Haas said something like "Maybe people need to see what a crisis looks like." This is, of course, reminiscent of a political party—but not the GOP. It was the Democrats who told our nation's Parks Service to "make life as difficult for people as we can" during the recent shutdown.
3. The VP's Wife Claims She Aborted a Multi-Year-Long Pregnancy on Live TV
During a live interview, CNN's Ashleigh Banfield brings up decades-old rumors about the veep's wife, Claire, having had an abortion during her husband's second run for Congress. This is an absurdity in and of itself, of course: There's no way the media would ask such a question. Leaving that aside, the response is even crazier. Claire cops to the abortion and says it was to terminate a pregnancy that occurred during a rape. By a college classmate.
The timeline on this whole thing doesn't make any sense. It's during Frank's second election for office, meaning they've been out of school for at least two-and-a-half years, even if he leapt straight from school to the House. But the rape was supposedly perpetrated by a college classmate. Unless he was just goin' 'round the country, rapin' away, why would they have been together after school? A few simple questions would've sent this whole charade tumbling to the ground.
4. The Veep and His Wife Have Sex With Their Secret Service Agent
Ew.
5. The Democratic House Forces a Democratic President's Resignation by Threatening Impeachment
Everything that the president does on this show is befuddling/infuriating. He's easily the worst politician on the show, yet he managed to win the presidency. He ditches his billionaire backer to take the advice of a House member elevated to the presidency he barely knows. He doesn't seem to actually understand how politics works at all and is easily maneuvered into taking the fall for campaign finance irregularities he had no actual knowledge of.
But the most insane thing about all of this is that a Democratically controlled House of Representatives would be willing to throw him overboard a month before a midterm election because they think it would improve their standing in the polls. I just ... I don't ... it don't make no sense. It would never happen. EVER.