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BREAKING: Sonny Bunch DOMINATES Sub-Beacon Oscar Draft

Amy Adams, nominated for Best Supporting Actress for her work in VICE, at the 2017 Vanity Fair Oscars Party. (Getty)
January 22, 2019

Today's Oscar nominations brought some surprises—six nominations for BlacKkKlansman! Three for The Ballad of Buster Scruggs, which had mostly been shut out of the awards season buzz! Little love for If Beale Street Could Talk!—and confirmed some things we all knew (A Star Is Born racked up a ton of nominations! Roma is going to be Netflix's first real chance at Oscar glory!). But one thing it really hammered home? I destroyed JVL and Vic in the Sub-Beacon Oscar Draft.

Sadly, the podcast episode during which this seminal event took place is lost to the mists of time. But here's the real-time scorecard keeping track of our draft picks:

For those of you who don't want to squint at my chicken scratch, this is the lineup:

SB:

A Star Is Born

If Beale Street Could Talk

Vice

Blackkklansman

The Favourite

Vic:

First Man

Roma

The Frontrunner

Mid 90s

Crazy Rich Asians

JVL:

On the Basis of Sex

Black Panther

Widows

Green Book

Bohemian Rhapsody

The scoring was as follows: 8 points for a best picture win, 4 points for a nomination; 4 points for a major category (direction, acting categories, writing categories), 2 points for a nomination; 2 points for a win in any other category, one point for a nomination.

As promised by me, many times, I earned more points in the nomination phase of the game than both of my cohosts combined. It was truly a dominant performance by Sonny Bunch, one of the best critics and prognosticators in the game:

SIXTY. SIX. POINTS. More than triple Vic's total; more than double JVL's total. Man. That's some ownage right there.

But I'm a gracious blogger! I don't want to just gloat here. I want to give my friends the chance for fair comment.

"I told you Black Panther would be huge, and I was right," JVL said when asked for comment about the shellacking I put on him. "I told you Green Book was the money pick, and I was right. I told you people would go crazy for Bohemian Rhapsody, and I was right. My only mistake was underestimating the lingering power of the Hollywood patriarchy in denying On the Basis of Sex. I had thought that time was up, but I was mistaken. Maybe next year. #Resist"

Vic—who managed to draft three (THREE!) movies that got zero nominations—nevertheless had one great pick: Roma.

"I knew Roma was going to sweep the noms, which is why I didn't care that my other picks were crap," Vic said, with what I imagine to be a sheepish look on his face. "Also, you really can't tell what's going to do well based solely on watching trailers."

(Fact check: I picked Vice—eight nominations, including best picture—based solely on the trailer.)

Anyway, consider this your latest reminder that #SonnyIsAlwaysRight. Make sure to tune into the show February 24 to see just how badly I crush my cohosts.