On This Day in History: March 1, 2008

Amy Poehler as Hillary Clinton / Screen shot

Amy Poehler as Hillary Clinton / Screen shot

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Paper Magazine praised Philip Seymour Hoffman for the “worst nude scene of all time.”

A Taliban commander was charged with assassinating Pakistani opposition leader Benazir Bhutto.

Liberals lost their minds in the wake of Angelina Jolie begging politicians not to “squander the progress that has been made” in Iraq.

Hillary Clinton appeared on Saturday Night Live to highlight her likability only to be skewered by Amy Poehler for being unlikable.

Poehler-as-Hillary said, taking on the special interests required someone like Mrs. Clinton:

“Someone so annoying, so pushy, so grating, so bossy and shrill, with a personality so unpleasant, that at the end of the day the special interests will have to go enough! We give up! Life is too short to deal with this awful woman!”

“And I think the American people will agree,” she added, “that someone is me.”

Franklin and Bash actor Mark Paul Gosselaar turned 34, Ted Cruz’s fellow countryman Justin Bieber turned 14, Oscar winner Javier Bardem turned 39, WWE Intercontinental Champion Booker T turned 43, and self-proclaimed SAT champion Ke$ha turned 21.

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