Republicans disproved the Democrat-engineered "war on women" last night at the 52nd Congressional Baseball Game, allowing Rep. Linda Sánchez (D., Calif.) to reach base on an error and get the assist on the final out of the game, as the GOP went on to get embarrassed by Democrats 22-0.
The box score may reflect Rep. Cedric Richmond’s complete game shut-out, but for as much as Republicans like to tease Michelle Obama’s "Let’s Move" campaign and Nancy Pelosi pushing for healthier options at the Longworth cafeteria: The GOPers could do with putting down the extra milkshake. Even when Democrats failed to make the putouts on GOP popups, the Republicans were often thrown out well before they reached first base. Sequestration has shrunk every function of government except for our representatives’ waist sizes.
Democrats, of the party of fairness, had their own fair share of follies. Sen. Joe Donnelly (Ind.) got plunked with an inside pitch at the bottom of the second inning. Rep. Raul Ruiz (Calif.) must be better at skiing than he is at base running—Rep. Adam Smith (Wash.) pinch ran for him once he (not shockingly) made it on base.
As evidenced by last night’s massacre, Obamacare covers preexisting conditions, Romnesia, and performance enhancers. How else can you explain Richmond’s utter domination while recovering from illness? As Roll Call points out, House Dems may not reclaim the majority for another decade, but as long as Richmond gets reelected, they should be ensconced as the favorite in the game from here on out.
Republicans may be going through a bit of a dry spell on the diamond, but at least they roll large. When GOP comes to play, they bring out 2016 hopeful Sen. Rand Paul. What national figures play for the Dems? The 53rd game is already gaining buzz as Washington guesses what weight likely future New Jersey Senator Cory Booker will be playing at. Perhaps a svelte 215?
The RNC spent $10 million to do an autopsy of the party. I’ll save the House Conference a couple bucks and perform a deep dive for free.
Why can’t actual athletic GOP House members sign on to play? Isn’t this the party of the hunters and athletes? Republicans claim the House’s fittest member in Aaron Schock (Ill.) and a veteran of America’s fifth professional sport, Real World/Road Rules Challenge participant Sean Duffy (Wis.). I know he's been laying low since November, but has everyone forgotten Paul Ryan? Anyone?
Republicans may get their doors blown off, but at least they win the post-game at Cap Lounge.