On Dec. 1, former Rep. George Santos (R., N.Y.) made history as the first openly gay member of Congress to be expelled from office, the first "Jew-ish" member of Congress to be expelled from office, and the first expelled congressman who wasn't previously convicted of a crime.
More Democrats than Republicans voted to oust Santos, presumably because they couldn't stand the fact that Santos is a more likable and charismatic homosexual than Pete Buttigieg will ever be. They couldn't care less about his alleged crimes, which are relatively limp-wristed compared to the big boy federal corruption charges facing Senator "Bullion Bob" Menendez (D., N.J.), who hasn't been expelled.
Santos is a Washington Free Beacon Man of the Year because he is living proof that Republicans are just better than Democrats in every way. Their queens slay harder. Their (alleged) criminals (allegedly) commit more interesting crimes, such as defrauding a service dog charity. The hot young upstarts on the Democratic side are just run-of-the-mill anti-Semites and Big Denim scions. Santos is the real deal.
We wish the expelled congressman the best of luck in his future endeavors. Not that he needs it. Santos, a devout capitalist, is already earning more than his congressional salary ($174,000) by making perfect 30-second videos on Cameo. Get the bag, girlfriend!
Like every American accused of a crime, Santos deserves his day in court. Until then, may the memory of his brief service to this country be a blessing. We'll never forget the time he walked out of a colleague's office holding a baby, and when some obnoxious journalist asked if the baby was his, replied, "Not yet." You can't coach that kind of talent.
Happy trails, you messy bitch.