What happened to the days when people squashed their beef in acceptable and proper ways, like out in these streets?
Two of Australia's richest men brawl after one starts dating Miranda Kerr http://t.co/FrZFzZCrQi pic.twitter.com/ZGtTEET53w
— Daily Mail Online (@MailOnline) May 13, 2014
With U.S. media all lathered up by Cray-Z, we missed the news of Australian billionaires James Packer and David Gyngell scrapping over the one thing men have been fighting over ever since we crawled out of the primordial soup.
You can tell these bros are the Aussie Koch brothers because they're wrestling without shoes and are wearing sweatpants. They're pajama rich. The guy allegedly smanging Miranda Kerr is the guy who won by submission.
The ironic part is that the fight wasn't even over Miranda. According to the Daily Mail, Gyngell (the guy getting his face caved in), didn't like how Packer (Orlando Bloom's eskimo bro) was treating his estranged wife. Let's hope Packer treats his own lady with more respect.
You know you won the fight when the guy you mollywopped apologizes for starting it:
Mr Gyngell accepted responsibility for the fight and pledged to co-operate with the police investigation into the incident.
'He fully accepts that he was the instigator of the incident,' a spokesman said. 'Clearly, had he not turned up at Packer's premises in an angry mood then the confrontation would never have occurred.'
Gents, take your cues from Miranda.
The best take came from Gyngell's wife herself.
Ok so they're much better dressed and a little more discreet but I feel a kinship with Beyonce, Solange, and Jay-Z today.
— leilamckinnon (@leilamckinnon) May 13, 2014
Gyngell’s wife, Leila McKinnon, ain’t so bad herself.