"I was gonna go to court before I got high," the legendary Afroman rapped in 2000. "I was gonna pay my child support, but then I got high. They took my whole paycheck and I know why—because I got high. Because I got high. Because I got high."
More than 20 years later, it is impossible to interpret Afroman's lyrics as anything but a prophetic reference to Hunter Biden and his legal team.
One of Hunter's various attorneys, "sugar brother" Kevin Morris, was spotted in July ripping a bong at his Los Angeles home as the embattled first son—known for his own affinity for drugs—visited.
A month before that visit, Hunter finally settled a years-long paternity dispute with one of his various baby mommas, Lunden Roberts. Hunter's attorneys fought vigorously in that case to reduce his child support payments, which reportedly reached as high as $20,000 a month. At one point, Hunter's legal team was accused of withholding financial information, prompting a criminal contempt threat.
But the end of that ordeal only marked the beginning of the first son's legal issues—and the brazen incompetence of his legal team.
Not long after Hunter's high times at the Morris household, the first son's legal team famously fumbled at the goal line a plea deal that would have seen Hunter avoid jail time and instead serve probation. At odds was a provision that Hunter's attorneys said would provide their client broad immunity from future prosecution. In December, the feds showed why Hunter's team found that provision so necessary, charging the first son with a trove of new felony tax charges.
The cherry on top came days later, when Hunter attorney Abbe Lowell oversaw a scheme in which the first son defied a House subpoena, prompting Republican investigators to "initiate contempt of Congress proceedings."
Don't get it twisted—we aren't complaining. In fact, when it comes to attorneys, Hunter's trash is our treasure. So long as the first son's crackpot lawyers keep rolling up to court, we'll keep rolling out headlines on their incompetence.
So keep it up, Hunter Biden's legal team. And proudly do so as Washington Free Beacon Men of the Year.
