AMC Plans to Allow Texting in Theaters; I Have a Better Plan

Nuke the entire site from orbit / AP

Because apparently the terrorists have won:

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Ted Cruz Is Right: The Godfather Part III Is Good

Godfather Part III

Last night during a CNN Town Hall, Ted Cruz was asked by Anderson Cooper about his favorite movies. He loves The Princess Bride, of course, but what else? The Godfather—”actually, all three of the Godfathers“—prompting a surprised reaction from Anderson Cooper, who claimed that he’s “never met anyone who liked the third Godfather.”*

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2016: A Most Dangerous Summer

In this image released by the U.S. Navy, a Russian SU-24 jet makes a close-range and low altitude pass near the USS Donald Cook on Tuesday, April 12, 2016, in the Baltic Sea. / U.S. Navy via AP

In late June, citizens of the UK will vote on whether to leave the European Union, and may well make the historic decision to do so. During the second half of July, the two major U.S. political parties will have conventions at which they nominate their presidential candidates. At the first one of these, the current frontrunner has all but threatened mob violence if he is denied his party’s nod, and events in Cleveland are very likely to occupy the nation’s attention. Meanwhile, as the weather improves throughout the spring in the eastern Mediterranean, and considering that there is no end in sight to the violence in Syria, Iraq, or Afghanistan, the flow of refugees from the Middle East and Central Asia into Europe will pick up again, further destabilizing the member nations of the NATO alliance.

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Bernie’s New Jewish Outreach Director: ‘F–k you, Bibi’

Bernie Sanders

The Sanders campaign’s newly hired Jewish outreach director wrote an expletive-laden Facebook post last year that condemned Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu as a mass-murderer.

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Donald Trump Is Finally Giving in to the GOP Establishment

Yeah, I made this in Pixlr…

I’ve always given Donald Trump credit for at least pretending to disregard the Republican Party line on taxes, entitlements, and so on. But as far as I am concerned, he blew it when he told reporters that he is a fan of Ayn Rand, the eighteenth-rate novelist beloved of Paul Ryan.

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Adult Swim, Voice of a Generation

best show you heathens have never bothered watching

Here’s a neat eight-minute video highlighting the ways in which the Cartoon Network’s bloc of late-night programming, Adult Swim, quietly became one of the more influential and beloved segments of programming on cable for those of a certain age.*

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I (Sort of) Love Dennis Skinner

Dennis Skinner / Wikimedia Commons

Dennis Skinner, the Member of Parliament for Bolsover, was ejected from the House of Commons after he refused to withdraw the word “dodgy” from a question he posed to David Cameron during Prime Minister’s Questions this morning: Does the prime minister recall that at the time after he became prime minister under the coalition and at the …

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New Game of Thrones Trailer > Hamilton

Credit: @hamiltonmusic Instagram

Every day, it’s HamiltonHamiltonHamilton. From big news that the socialist candidate for president is a member of the one percent:

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Gay Talese and the Outrage-Industrial Complex’s Odd Priorities

history's greatest monster (right) / AP

Perhaps you missed it because you have a life, but celebrated American journalist Gay Talese found himself in the outrage buzzsaw last week when the 84-year-old author failed to quickly state that he was influenced by scads of amazing lady-writers. Oh my, the tears that were shed! The garments torn! How dare the author of “Frank Sinatra Has a Cold”—which was published, chronologically speaking, about midway through Mad Men, just to give you a point of reference—not have a handy-dandy list of lady-authors that he could pay homage to at a moment’s notice! How dare he suggest that he thought that female authors tended to write on subjects he himself did not cover?

How dare he be, you know, an 84-year-old man.

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‘The Americans’ v. The State (SPOILERS)

Annet Mahendru, aka Nina Sergeevna (AP)

Plot points from Wednesday, April 6th’s episode of The Americans will be discussed below. Consider this your spoiler warning.

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‘Mary Sue Steals the Death Star Plans: A Star Wars Story’ Trailer

mary sue felicity jones

Pretty sure Rogue One: A Star Wars Story is just the working title.

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Eight Takeaways From Hillary Clinton’s Interview With Glenn Thrush

It’s okay, m’lady, I’m a journalist

Glenn Thrush of Politico, a website located many floors below the Free Beacon in Arlington, Va., has just published an interview with Hillary Clinton. Clinton and Thrush’s conversation is worth listening to in full, but it’s nearly an hour long. For those of you with work to do today, here are the eight most interesting things I learned from it.

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UNC’s Heartbreaking Last-Minute Loss: Proof Karma Is Real?

AP

I don’t care at all about college sports, in part because I don’t enjoy watching lower-quality athletes compete in games where higher-quality competition exists.* I also find the whole “student-athlete” thing to be vaguely absurd, especially with regard to basketball and football. No one believes that your dumb-dumb power forward or tight end is there to get his degree, College Sports Booster. Quit with the charade.

That being said, even I—a remarkably jaded individual who thinks that college athletes should just be paid already so we can quit pretending that they care about things like “reading” or “being given a chance to improve their lot in life via the power of education”—was shocked by the UNC academic scandal that has unfolded over the last few years. I mean, this is amazingly brazen stuff:

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Maureen Dowd’s Donald Trump Interviews Are Terrible

AP

Maureen Dowd’s new interview with Donald Trump published over the weekend was mostly tedious. One bit was striking, however: Given his draconian comment, sending women back to back alleys*, I had to ask: When he was a swinging bachelor in Manhattan, was he ever involved with anyone who had an abortion? “Such an interesting question,” he …

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Kate Upton Loves Puppies

Kate Upton Instagram

Kate Upton solidified her status as America’s greatest woman this weekend. She hosted an event to help find housing for homeless puppies by matching them with military veterans suffering from PTSD.

This was the second year Upton held the Grand Slam Adoption Event with boyfriend Justin Verlander while he is in Florida for Detroit Tiger spring training. Last year’s event was “glorious,” according to my analysis, and this year’s was just as good.

Look at how happy these pups are just to be in the same place as Kate Upton:

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