NFL Week 2 Picks, With Kate Upton

Kate Upton to the rescue / Barry Wetcher

The past four months have been tough. In early May, the Washington Free Beacon learned that Kate Upton was engaged to Justin Verlander. We declared it an American tragedy, and tried to move on. “If you truly love something, you have to know when to let it go,” I was told. Over the summer, The Free Beacon had no Kate Upton. …

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Never, Ever, Ever Talk Around (or to) Journalists

She's probably a journalist. Don't talk to her / AP

In D.C. you spend a lot of time around journalists. When you spend a lot of time around journalists, you pick up annoying habits—like, say, uttering “Well, off the record—” before even the most banal of statements. “Well, off the record, I hear it’s going to be 87 degrees tomorrow. Don’t quote me on that.” “Well, off the record, I think the ‘skins are going to struggle this year. But, you know, don’t publish that or anything.”

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Hillary Clinton, #TCOT Warrior

slay drone queen

Ever since her speech on the alt-right, Hillary Clinton has been making no bones about her support for Ronald Reagan, George W. Bush, John McCain, and other conservative luminaries. Her newfound sympathies have been on full display in her tweets.

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Trump Is Right About Paid Maternity Leave

Yoda

Seriously, folks. For a long time I have thought nothing too bone-headed for the Republicans, the party of the 47 percent who, with one or two exceptions, ran this year on “lower taxes” and “entrepreneurship,” slogans not very much beloved of the unemployed or those lucky enough to be enjoying stagnant wages, higher costs of living, …

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Second Look at Kate Upton for President?

upton flag

One thing you want in a president is someone who loves the Constitution—and someone who has a hale and hearty constitution. Our president has to travel the world on behalf of the United States, going from the tropical climes of Southeast Asia to the frosty steppes of Russia. You want someone who isn’t going to wilt in the face of pressure, someone who can handle whatever the weather throws her way.

In other words, you don’t want someone who melts in the mid-70s.

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Why ‘Basket of Deplorables’ May Help Clinton

'The basket is huge, folks. HUGE!' / AP

Hillary Clinton is a bad politician in the sense that she has trouble getting people to support her. See, for instance, when she lost what should have been a very easily won presidential primary to a half-term senator or when she had trouble closing out an ancient white socialist who had captured the hearts and minds of the youth wing of the youth party. People don’t like her and they don’t trust her and she hasn’t really done anything to help herself in the “likability” or “trust” departments. She is what she is.

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NFL Week 1 Picks, Obviously With Pictures

carly lauren feature

Last year, the Washington Free Beacon completed a five-month-long study into whether betting on football teams based on how hot their fans are is a viable money-making strategy. The results were staggering. Week after week the wins piled in. It was like that scene in 21, the decent movie about the MIT Blackjack Team where they make a …

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The Ten Best Cigarettes in the World

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It isn’t, actually. But the other day—was it Wednesday?—I saw people tweeting about National Beer Lovers’ Day, another one of those fake marketing holidays. There were Coors Light ads all over the Internet, which was nice, I guess. Tobacco companies never get to do things like this. Outside the pages of a handful of enlightened magazines, …

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In Which Gary Johnson Disqualifies Himself for the Presidency

Image by Gage Skidmore via flickr

As someone who thinks this election basically boils down to the two evil sides of Richard Nixon duking it out for the nuclear suitcase, I’ll admit to having been Johnson-curious* for a bit.

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Nobody, Including Me, Knows Anything and Everybody Should Stop

don't @ him, bros

Does anyone care that a mountain climbing enthusiast and self-professed “entrepreneur in the cannabis space” doesn’t know the name of one of the world’s great cities? For about 15 minutes this morning I pretended that I did care. I was lying to myself.

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Treks to the Stars, Ranked

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Today is the 50th anniversary of the debut of Star Trek, according to stuff I read on Twitter. This, of course, necessitates a ranking of Star Trek TV shows, because no anniversary can pass without arbitrarily deciding which things we like about a thing in order to celebrate that thing. Hooray, things!

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North Korea’s ‘Commercial’ Airline Needs to Be Banned

North Korean workers labor next to Air Koryo jets lined up on the tarmac of the airport near Pyongyang, North Korea / AP

There is a tendency for western media to treat Air Koryo, North Korea’s only “commercial” airline, as an opportunity for humor. The fact that it has been named the world’s worst airline by an industry group for four straight years plays a role in the company’s attractiveness as a butt for jokes, as do the propaganda films that play on its small fleet of Tupolev and Antonov jets (there is no volume control) and the mystery meat burgers served by its flight attendants.

But Air Koryo is no joke. It is an arm of the Kim family’s military-gangster complex, implicated in smuggling cash for Pyongyang’s slave labor enterprises, and has been implicated in weapons trafficking.

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Brookings Institution: Both Clinton and Trump Will Bankrupt the Country

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That at least is what I’m given to understand after playing a new version of the venerable think tank’s Fiscal Ship video game. Readers of this website will remember that I am a longtime fan of this particular strategy title. For those of you out of the loop, the goal of the game is to select policies that …

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My Aborted Monster Hunting Expedition

It might be the most memorable lede I have ever read in our paper of record: At the edge of dark, dark woods in South Carolina, children have been telling adults that a group of clowns have been trying to lure them into the cluster of trees. They say the clowns live deep in the woods, …

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