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ANALYSIS: We Need a Total and Complete Shutdown of Rich White Liberals Having Children

Until we can figure out what the hell is going on

January 25, 2023

What do we want? A total and complete shutdown of rich white liberals having children until we can figure out what the hell is going on.

When do we want it? Now.

Why do we want it? To protect our fellow Americans from violence at the hands of spoiled youths corrupted by extremist ideology.

For example: Linwood Kaine, the adult son of Sen. Tim Kaine (D., Va.), was arrested in May 2017—less than a year after his father lost the presidential election as Hillary Clinton's running mate—for disrupting a pro-Trump rally in Minnesota by lighting fireworks inside the state Capitol.

Background: Riley Dowell, the 23-year-old "nonbinary" daughter/son of Rep. Katherine Clark (D., Mass.), was arrested in Boston over the weekend for allegedly assaulting a police officer and vandalizing public property by spray-painting "ACAB" (All Cops Are Bastards) on a historic landmark.

(Context: Clark, who has expressed support for the controversial "defund the police" movement, is the second-highest ranking Democrat in the House of Representatives. She described her child's alleged domestic terrorism as "a very difficult time in the cycle of joy and pain in parenting.")

The leading Democrat's wayward offspring was arrested on the same day that hundreds of left-wing radicals rioted in Atlanta. "If you build it, we will burn it," the masked hooligans chanted as they destroyed property and set fire to police cars.

Atlanta police arrested several individuals for engaging in domestic terrorism. The New York Post examined their backgrounds, and found that nearly all of them are white children of privilege who traveled from out of state:

Madeleine "Henri" Feola—trans activist from Happy Valley, Oregon (median income $132,000); graduate of Oberlin College (Lena Dunham's alma mater)

Ivan J. Ferguson—award-winning professional clarinetist who studied at the prestigious San Francisco Conservatory of Music

Francis Carroll—trust fund kid from Kennebunkport, Maine (95% white, median income $82,000); the wealthy vacation enclave is home to the Bush family's summer estate

Emily Kathryn Murphy—radical activist involved with Al Gore's Climate Reality Project; hails from Grosse Ile Township, Michigan (94% white, median income $114,000)

Bottom line: Rich white liberals, a demographic that includes most Democratic politicians and professional journalists, are a bunch of hysterical doomsayers who nod in agreement when Nikole Hannah-Jones denounces the United States as "one of the most unequal societies in the history of the world."

According to them, the world is on the brink of destruction due to climate change, our democracy is on the brink of destruction due to white supremacists pushing "Jim Crow on steroids," and expressing an opinion they don't like is literally an act of violence. All cops are bastards. All men are pigs. All white people, including "white Hispanics" and black people concerned about crime, are irredeemable racists.

They might not actually believe the things they say, but they shouldn't be surprised when others, including their own children, take these ideas seriously and act out accordingly. Because if you actually believe this shit, becoming a domestic terrorist and trying to "save the world" by any means necessary is a perfectly logical response.

(See also: Hunter Biden, Sam Bankman-Fried)