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What's Racist, What's Not (As of Friday, Oct. 3, 2014)

Liberals tend to devote a significant portion of their daily lives to proving how not racist they are. One particularly expedient way of doing this is to declare that something a conservative has said or done is totally racist, and then to place oneself in opposition to the thing that was racist: "See, I'm not a racist!"

As result, the List of Things That Are Racist has grown incomprehensibly long. The Free Beacon's devotion to public service obligates us to provide this list (not exhaustive by any means) of what liberals do and do not consider to be racist.

Things That Are Racist

1. Talking about Ebola (Salon)

2. Describing the Hong Kong protests as "clean and orderly" (Vox)

3. Pointing out that white people use heroin (Salon)

4. #BringBackOurGirls (Salon)

5. Describing Obama as "angry" (MSNBC)

6. The American Revolution (Salon)

7. Children’s books with white characters (Salon)

8. Criticizing the IRS (MSNBC)

9. Donating to the United Negro College Fund

10. Being half-white (Salon)

11. Supporting Herman Cain (MSNBC)

12. Opposing Obama (MSNBC)

13. Rocky III (Vox)

14. When black conservatives disagree with black liberals (Salon)

15. Noting that Obama has an Ivy League education (MSNBC)

16. Saying Obama likes to play golf (MSNBC)

17. Saying "Obamacare" (MSNBC)

18. Living in the suburbs (Salon)

19. Calling Obama "Obama" (MSNBC)

20. Criticizing liberals for constantly accusing people of racism (Salon)

21. "Tom and Jerry" cartoons

22. Cupcakes

23. Peanut butter and jelly sandwiches

Things That Are Not Racist

1. Suing a fertility clinic after giving birth to a mixed race child that you wish was white* (Salon)

*This is actually a very racist thing to do.

 

UPDATE: This article is racist.