- Washington Free Beacon - https://freebeacon.com -

New Starbucks Code of Conduct

Instead of Starbucks simply saying that they'll try not to arrest any more random black dudes who are standing around their stores for a couple of minutes, the higher-ups have lost their damn minds, sending their employees to reeducation camp and announcing that anyone can linger in a Starbucks for as long as they want, and use the commode, without purchasing a single thing. While I'm sure New York City's hobo population is extremely excited for the new regime, Starbucks quickly realized that they were courting all sorts of disaster and backtracked mildly.

Simply telling people they can't sleep or shoot up at Starbucks feels insufficient, however. We need a full-on code of conduct if Starbucks is going to avoid future kerfuffles. Allow me to suggest the following as a starting point.

This is just the tip of the iceberg, of course; lord only knows the varieties of ways in which the coffee shop can be degraded by people who don't actually buy something from a restaurant before using its bathrooms or commandeering its meeting spaces. But hey, at least Starbucks is Part Of The Solution And Not Part Of The Problem now.