Over the weekend, NBC host Chuck Todd sat down for an exclusive interview with Donald Trump's hair. The signature golden mane—often considered the finest and most luxurious head of hair in international real estate—performed well under the barrage of questions and presented a strong vision for a great American future.
"We have to be strong and secure and get rid of our debt," the hair told Todd when asked to define conservatism. Nor did the hair shy away from its past support for Democratic politicians such as Hillary Clinton, noting that Ronald Reagan's hair also had a "liberal bent" before joining the Republican Party.
Todd tried to grill the hair on abortion, but was met with a straightforward response. "Look, Planned Parenthood has to stop with the abortions," the hair said. "I cherish women."
The hair laid out an aggressive plan to defeat ISIS by encircling the terrorist entity and taking its oil. "We're going to have so much money," the hair said, citing "the shows" as his primary source of advice on foreign policy and military affairs. "You have the generals and you have certain people like that [who appear on the shows]."
A Trump administration would "get along very well" with foreign government, the hair said, because Mr. Trump makes "a tremendous amount of money" selling apartments to wealthy individuals from China, Mexico, and Saudi Arabia. The main problem in the world is the fact that America's leaders "make bad deals...we just don't have victories anymore."
The coif then sounded a relatively skeptical note in regard to NATO, purporting to be a "fan of common sense," but not a "fan of us being against Russia." The hair has repeatedly suggested that Vladimir Putin would be an important ally of a Trump administration.
The hair also didn't like the fact that it recently had to buy so many televisions from South Korea.