Joe Biden is probably going to run for president, according to sources who may or may not know what they're talking about. If the VP does decide to enter the race, he would instantly become the party's preferred candidate in the likely event that Hillary Clinton is indicted for "gross negligence" under the Espionage Act. Biden's presence in the race would mean that the number of legitimate candidates on the Democratic debate stage would double from one to two. He might actually pretend to campaign against Hillary Clinton, with whom he has some crucial differences, such as:
1. Joe Biden has five times as many grandchildren as Hillary Clinton, and is therefore five times more concerned than she is about the kind of future we're going to leave behind.
2. Biden went to a state school (University of Delaware) and isn't a socialist, which would make him the most "outsider" candidate seeking the Democratic nomination.
3. Biden's ability to deploy different accents on the stump if far superior to Hillary's.
4. Biden is not currently under investigation by the FBI.
5. Donald Trump has donated more than 10 times as much money to Hillary Clinton ($10,800) than he has to Joe Biden ($1,000).
6. Unlike the Clintons, Biden has no known ties to billionaire Jeffrey Epstein, a convicted sex offender who owns a private jet nicknamed "The Lolita Express."
7. In the 2008 Democratic primary, Biden spent far less money and energy to achieve the same result as Hillary (losing to Obama), yet still came out a winner.
8. Joe Biden eats ice cream like a Real American.
9. Polls show that nearly twice as many Americans (62 percent) think Biden is "honest and trustworthy" compared to Hillary Clinton (32 percent).
10. Biden isn't lying about his position on the Trans-Pacific Partnership.
11. Biden is a real person who knows how to have fun.