I Am Not A Fan of This Ted Cruz for President Thing

Locking up the liberal base. (AP)

I don’t always read the news, but when I do, I prefer to read about things that are, you know, actually new. That’s why I was frustrated to read this morning about a 40-something Harvard grad, barely a third of the way through his first term as U.S. Senator, announcing a White House bid in front of a crowd of screaming millennials. Stop me if this sounds familiar. I had to double-check the year on my calendar to make sure I wasn’t having another flashback or malaria-induced fever dream.

I’ve never been a fan of Ted Cruz. His so-called “conservatism” has always struck me as phonier than Barack Obama’s so-called “birth certificate.” I thought his coloring book was a heaping pile of left-wing propaganda aimed at our nation’s youth, and don’t get me started on his perverse obsession with Hollywood actor Ronald Reagan.