Matthew Walther’s
Fourth Cleveland Diary

Ted Cruz

CLEVELAND, Ohio—I have had an epiphany about all these parties and receptions. The point of going to them is supposed to be that you are able to drink for free. But by the third or fourth fete of the evening, you will have moved on from Bombay to Miller Lite, especially if you are trying to take notes. You see where I’m going with this: You end up spending more on cabs getting from happy hour to happy hour than you would buying a bottle of gin and a case of beer and drinking them wherever you’re staying. But good social drinkers are not utilitarian bores. The point is not to optimize the ratio between the volume of alcohol consumed and the amount of money spent. We are being intentionally frivolous, thank you.