Free Beacon Fan Fiction: EXCLUSIVE: How Trump’s First Meeting With Putin Really Went Down

Trump Putin

SCENE

A luxury suite at the Metropol in Moscow. One wall is covered with ikons of the Theotokos, St. Athanasius, St. Nicholas, and Lenin. Beneath the holy images sweet incense rises from a gilt lamp emblazoned with scenes from the confrontation between Michael I Cerularius and Pope Leo IX. TRUMP and PUTIN sit opposite one another in ornate chairs upholstered with hunting scenes in a Russian folk style. Between them sits a tray of white gold caviar and bottle of Heinz ketchup. TRUMP squirts the bottle on to a silver spoonful of the caviar.

SHE SHALL PERSIST: Here’s How Hillary Clinton Will Become President In 2017

Hillary Clinton

Donald Trump’s impeachment is imminent, and the majority of his cabinet is implicated in his treason. Hillary Clinton was supposed to be our president in 2017. It was her turn. She won the popular vote, but lost the rigged election because of Russia. Fortunately, there’s a good chance that Hillary will be sworn in as president before …

TRIGGER WARNING: Trump’s ‘Witch Hunt’ Claim Offends Accused Witches

More than a dozen women and men accused of witchcraft in this sleepy New England village are criticizing President Donald Trump for saying the current investigation of possible ties between his campaign and the Russian government is “the greatest witch hunt of a politician in American history!”

Free Beacon Fan Fiction: Hillary Clinton Detained, Trump Declares ‘Promise Kept’ in Fabulous Rose Garden Ceremony

CHAPPAQUA — Hillary Clinton surrendered to federal authorities on Tuesday after a nine-hour standoff involving a series of tense negotiations and a brief exchange of gunfire with Kazakh mercenaries. The former secretary of state was transferred to a federal prison facility in Cumberland, Md., where she will await trial on charges of corruption, racketeering, treason, voter fraud, planning the Benghazi attack, associating with perverts, and disseminating “fake news.”

OUT OF THE WOODS: Highlights from the Hillary Clinton Comeback Tour

Congratulations, America! One of your most beloved public speakers (according to 2015 market value) is back on the circuit. That’s right, Hillary Clinton is coming to a regional trade or professional organization or global banking conglomerate’s semi-annual conference near you! Her reps at the Harry Walker Agency are busy plugging the failed candidate’s availability as her ghostwriter puts the finishing touches …

Liberals Keep Attacking Kids with Cancer for Some Reason

Liberal politicians and activists have a concerning pattern of attacking kids with cancer when they try to mock Republicans. This disturbing trend can be traced all the way back to the 2013 government shutdown. During the shutdown, then-Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid (D., Nev.) was asked why Senate Democrats would not want to fund the National Institutes of …

5 Huma Abedin Classics You Won’t Want to Miss

When it was reported recently that Huma Abedin was seeking $2 million for a book advance, you probably didn’t realize that she was already a major author with five well-reviewed titles to her credit. While none of us can wait for the next one, here are some paperbacks to tide you over in the meantime.* How to …