At the time, Kendall (the Siren) and Kyrie (the Mormo) of the Kardashian horde were busy promoting the latest schlock served up by their mother Kris Jenner (the Empusa). Mr. Rodman, who is known to sample women’s clothing on occasion, consulted with the ladies on their “Kendall & Kylie” collection. Kendall is already an authority on swimwear:

PacificCoastNews.com

Rodman has taken to social media to lobby “Kim” (that’s what his friends call him) to free recently jailed American Kenneth Bae.

I’m calling on the Supreme Leader of North Korea or as I call him “Kim”, to do me a solid and cut Kenneth Bae loose.

— Dennis Rodman (@dennisrodman) May 7, 2013

Bae was sentenced to 15 years of hard labor for planning to overthrow the Kim regime. Or so that’s what that the totalitarian state charged him with. Rodman’s diplomacy has yet to produce any results, but fear not. Rodman handled combustible tempers, such as those belonging to Michael Jordan and Isaiah Thomas, throughout his Hall of Fame career.

In an exclusive interview with TMZ, Rodman succinctly described how the Worm gets results:

Not even the CIA has the level of classified intel that Rodman collected on his diplomatic mission to the Hermit Kingdom. Maybe he learned that in addition to his obsession with roundball, Kim is a huge fan of Keeping Up with the Kardashians. Hence his pilgrimage to the Brea Mall.

Interestingly enough, Ri Chun Hee did not receive an education in journalism, but a degree in drama. And Chun Hee’s training paid off. Boy, is she fun to watch.

Here she is announcing a nuclear test:

And here she is, elated at a successful missile launch:

Here she expresses sorrow at the passing of a despot:

Here is a side-by-side comparison of the agony of each Supreme Leader’s passing:

But a mystery remains. After some deep diving by this here blog, it’s unclear if Ri retired, or if she is even alive. This profile of her aired in January 2012:

Months after Ri’s reported departure, a video of a news anchor with a similar speaking cadence and hard enunciation went viral.

But this replacement—this video is dated September 2012—seems to lack the gravitas Ri brought to every single broadcast.

Could it be? Where is Ri Chun Hee?

Bonus Fake Kim Jong Il weather report:

The report said North Korea’s Taepodong-2, last used as a satellite launcher, is continuing to be developed as a long-range missile. The missile “could reach parts of the United States if configured as an intercontinental ballistic missile (ICBM) capable of carrying a nuclear payload,” the 26-page report says.

The reference to hitting the United States with a nuclear warhead followed the disclosure in Congress of a classified Defense Intelligence Agency (DIA) study April 11 that said North Korea has mastered the technology of placing a nuclear warhead on a missile.

Administration policy and intelligence officials later sought to challenge DIA’s assessment saying the nuclear missile capability is uncertain.

The first annual report to Congress called “Military and Security Developments Involving the Democratic People’s Republic of Korea” said North Korea could conduct additional nuclear tests “at any time.” An intelligence official said recently that new activity has been detected at a nuclear test site but that it is unclear if the activity is related to a future underground blast or maintenance on the facility.

The report said North Korea’s space launch development “contributes heavily” to long-range missiles because of the shared technology in both systems.

“However, a space launch does not test a re-entry vehicle (RV), without which North Korea cannot deliver a weapon to target from an ICBM,” the report said, apparently a caveat to the classified assessment made public last month.

North Korea’s new missile systems include a short-range missile, an intermediate-range Musudan missile, and a road-mobile ICBM called the KN-08. Pyongyang’s military also has hundreds of short-range Scuds and medium-range Nodong missiles.

“These advances in ballistic missile delivery systems, coupled with developments in nuclear technology … are in line with North Korea’s stated objective of being able to strike the U.S. homeland,” the report.

Following North Korea’s third underground nuclear test on Feb. 10, the communist regime launched a “campaign” of threatening media releases and threatening statements, including an unprecedented threat to use nuclear missiles against the United States.

The objective, according to the report, is aimed at “reaffirming its need to counter perceived U.S. ‘hostility’ with nuclear-armed ICBMs.”

“North Korea will move closer to this goal, as well as increase the threat it poses to U.S. forces and allies in the region, if it continues testing and devoting scarce regime resources to these programs,” the report said. “The pace of its progress will depend, in part, on how many resources it can dedicate to these efforts and how often it conducts tests.”

The report also said North Korea “probably” has offensive computer cyber attack capabilities and has carried out several operations against banks and other networks in South Korea.

The cyber warfare capability included cyber espionage and distributed denial of serve attacks since 2009. The report said “the North Korean regime may view [computer network operations] as an appealing platform from which to collect intelligence.”

The impoverished state sees computer attack operations “as a cost-effective way to modernize some North Korean military capabilities.”

“As a result of North Korea’s historical isolation from outside communications and influence, it is likely to employ Internet infrastructure from third-party nations,” the report said.

Much of North Korea’s weaponry comes from China and Russia with Beijing having more “robust” relations with Pyongyang, the report said.

Richard Fisher, a military affairs expert with the International Assessment and Strategy Center, said the report, which cost the Pentagon $59,000 to produce, “should have been explicit about China’s direct assistance to North Korea’s ICBM program, which the world saw plain as day on April 15, 2012 when the KN-08 ICBM was paraded on top of its Chinese Sanjiang 16-wheel transporter erector launcher.”

“The Defense Department has had almost two years to figure out North Korea’s new fourth generation surface-to-air missile, which is very likely of Chinese origin,” Fisher said in an email. “China is helping North Korea to obliterate Anchorage and very likely, to shoot down our retaliating strike aircraft. This report only compounds the Obama administration’s failure to respond to China’s enabling a direct threat to Americans. Return this report to sender.”

While much of its military is outdated, North Korea has been modernizing some of its forces, including artillery, submarines, and special operations forces. The special operations commandos are a key asymmetric warfare capability and would be used in wartime to attack targets and leaders in South Korea.

North Korea’s Korean People’s Army has 4,100 tanks, 2,100 armored vehicles, 8,500 artillery pieces, and 5,100 multiple rocket launchers. (For a full size map of the Korean forces, click here.)

Its naval forces include 70 submarines, including mini submarines like the kind that was used to sink the South Korean ship Choenan in 2010, killing 46 sailors.

Missile forces include KN-2, Scud-B, Scud-C, and Scud-ER short-range missiles with around a hundred launchers each; fewer than 50 620-mile-range Nodong launchers; and fewer than 50 intermediate-range missile launchers with ranges of more than 2,500 miles.

The Taepodong-2 was reported as “not yet deployed” in the reports.

“North Korea will continue using and improving the TD-2, which could reach the United States with a nuclear payload if developed as an ICBM,” the report said. “An intermediate-range ballistic missile (IRBM) and a new short-range, solid-propellant ballistic missile are also being developed.”

“North Korea’s continued pursuit of nuclear technology and capabilities and development of long-range ballistic missile programs, as reflected in the December 2012 Taepodong-2 missile launch and April 2012 display of a new road-mobile intercontinental ballistic missile, underscores the threat to regional stability and U.S. national security posed by North Korea,” the report states.

North Korea also poses an arms proliferation threat, sending conventional and nuclear goods to Burma, Iran, and Syria.

Despite U.N. sanctions prohibiting arms sales, North Korea “continues to proliferate weapons-related goods and technology,” the report said.

“Weapons sales are a critical source of foreign currency for North Korea and North Korea is unlikely to cease export activity in spite of UN Security Council sanctions or successful interdictions of its weapons-related exports.”

U.S. intelligence agencies continued to collect reports of Chinese military movements in border provinces that have been underway since last month.

Meanwhile, China reported Tuesday that North Korea may be preparing to conduct a fourth underground nuclear test.

Reports indicate the People’s Liberation Army is on a very heightened alert status, amid mounting tensions between North Korea and the United States and South Korea.

Several reports were derived from Chinese microblogging sites that in the past have provided reliable information on Chinese military activities.

One April 17 photo showed scores of soldiers marching on a street in the city of Shenyang on the way to Dandong, a major border city on the Yalu River dividing the two countries.

Another posting stated military vehicles carrying tanks were spotted heading to Liaoyang, in Liaoning province, also near the border. The movements were reported by a user who said he was in a logistic unit of a PLA unit in Siping, Jilin province, and added that the troops would be deployed to the border “soon.”

However, officials said one of the most concerning reports was an April 14 report by a Chinese Internet user who quoted a friend in the Chinese military who was in a unit deployed along the Chinese-North Korean border who said troops for several days had been placed on “Level 1 alert status” the military’s highest readiness level.

Other reports last month said various PLA units in the region had been ordered to increase “war preparedness” to Level 2 and be ready to go to Level 1. The PLA uses a four-level alert status with Level 1 signaling preparation for conflict.

The latest reported force movements were not limited to ground troops.

Officials said formations of fighter jets were reported in Tonghua, located about 62 miles from the North Korean border in Jilin province on April 14.

Three days later Chinese Su-27 jet were reported as making daily sorties about 150 miles from the North Korean border in Anshan, in Liaoning province.

Officials said another sign of increased military activity was the notice issued by Chinese security police in Yanbian, a town near the northwestern Chinese border with China that said all video recording and photos were banned because of the “North Korean situation.”

Air raid sirens that are believed to have been for civil defense drills also were reported in Dandong for several days and border areas near North Korea suffered from limited cell phone reception, another indicator of military activity.

One Chinese citizen on the Twitter-like site Sina Weibo who was identified as Zang Shaojun Zsjun stated in an April 15 posting that the PLA was engaged in intensive training all along the border. Zang stated he had been traveling in Jilin province and described the region as having a “tense, warlike atmosphere.”

Earlier reports indicated the Chinese military aircraft, possible troops transports, helicopters, or fighter jets were active in the region.

According to U.S. officials, the increased military activities are Beijing’s preparation to handle any influx of North Korean refugees that would be expected shortly after the outbreak of any new conflict on the Korean peninsula.

Several Internet postings from April 10 said Chinese authorities in Jilin and Liaoning provinces were planning to deal with North Korean refugees.

The Washington Free Beacon first disclosed the April 1 Chinese military activities near North Korea when military forces in the region were placed on heightened alert and troops were being mobilized since around March 15. The first reports indicated both troops and warplanes were being mobilized.

Days later, photos surfaced of Chinese armored vehicles being transported on trucks toward the border.

Officials said the movements appeared to have been triggered by North Korea’s increasingly bellicose rhetoric, including an announcement that a “state of war” had been declared.

China’s state-run Global Times newspaper then confirmed the military movements on April 1. The newspaper showed photos of PLA troops in Shenyang engaged in live-fire training exercises, along with tanks and mobile artillery.

The reported Chinese movements contradict the Chinese government’s recent claim there is no buildup near the border. A Chinese Defense Ministry spokesman denied China is engaged in a “military buildup” on the border with North Korea on April 16.

“Such reports are not true,” said the spokesman, Yang Yujun, according to state-controlled Xinhua.

One U.S. official said the spokesman may be correct since the troops are already in the area and were not built up from other regions.

Additionally, North Korea is continuing to move mobile missiles near the east coast of the country and intelligence officials believe a test launch could be carried out in the coming days.

The test firings could include salvos of short-range Scuds, medium-range Nodongs, and intermediate range Musudans. The idea behind the salvos is for North Korea’s military to try and confuse the up to six missile defense warships deployed in the region, including two from Japan, that are prepared to shoot down the missiles if they appear to threaten Japan or U.S. bases in the region.

U.S. officials confirmed North Korea recently moved Scud missiles on mobile transporter-launchers to the east coast.

The launch zone for a test firing is located between the cities of Wonsan and Hamhung.

Earlier estimates put the period of the test firings between April 10 and April 15, but no missiles were launched.

Now, the next window for the missile launches could be April 25, North Korea’s Military Foundation Day that marks the anniversary of the creation of the Korean People’s Army.

Intelligence officials believe the North Koreans are preparing for the first test launch of a Musudan, a 2,500-mile range system that can reach Guam, the major U.S. military hub in the region. Two Musudans were spotted on satellite imagery on the North Korean east coast, officials said.

Unlike earlier test launches, the North Koreans are not expected to inform the United States of the timing of the launches as a result of increased missile defenses in the region.

The Pentagon announced earlier it was moving two additional missile defense ships to the region to augment more than five already deployed to the region.

U.S. ground-based Theater High-Altitude Area Defense (THAAD) missile defense systems also were sent to Guam, and a large X-band floating radar was moved into the region in recent weeks in anticipation of new North Korean missile threats.

Meanwhile, North Korea recently showed off six of its H-5 medium-bombers at an air base near the Chinese border. The Chinese-made H-5s are believed to be one method North Korea could use to deliver a nuclear bomb.

The six H-5 bombers were photographed at Sinuju, a North Korean airfield.

Chinese-made H-5 bombers were spotted at a North Korean military airfield at Sinuju, North Korea, near the border with China / Source: Chinese Internet

The three-minute North Korean propaganda video was posted April 6 on Uriminzokkiri TV, part of the North Korean government-controlled web site Uriminzokkiri. It uses a scene apparently taken from the trailer of the recently released movie Olympus Has Fallen, to show an attack on the White House.

The video warned that if war breaks out, a North Korean attack would be much worse than those shown in the recent films.

Olympus Has Fallen portrays a covert North Korean commando team that conducts a military assault on the White House, takes control, and kidnaps the president.

The Uriminzokkiri web site was a target of hackers earlier this month around the time that the video aired. It was offline as of yesterday.

The North Korean video is titled “Movie on Capture of White House Is a Movie on Playing Combat.” It includes photos and video of President Barack Obama, the late Gen. Douglas MacArthur, and air and naval forces. Artillery fire also is shown.

“These days Hollywood has made a movie of us capturing the White House and is circulating it,” a statement overlaying the video says. “It must have squandered a lot of money on using its extraordinary powers of imagination to make the movie.”

The film clip shows a hijacked AC-130 gunship firing its M-134 Miniguns in the assault.

“The aggressors and their follower forces must not miscalculate,” the message states later in the video. “Our millions of soldiers and people, who possess the means for merciless nuclear strike and possess extraordinary spiritual strength.”

Sections of the 2012 remake of Red Dawn also appear in the video. That film initially portrayed a Chinese military invasion of the Untied States but under pressure form Beijing the film’s producers changed the military attackers to North Koreans.

The background music was identified as “The Victorious Ones,” music frequently played in North Korean state concerts.

A Korean-speaking narrator states during the propaganda video that North Korea is prepared for war against United States and South Korean aggressors. He blames the United States’ “hostile policy” toward Pyongyang for the current tensions on the peninsula.

Additionally, computer graphics in the clip show military attacks on South Korea’s presidential office.

U.S. officials do not interpret the video as a serious threat of attack and believe it was intended for external propaganda purposes rather than for North Korean audiences.

The video was posted on the website UMK, which owns Uriminzokkiri TV and was set up in 2003 as a way for Pyongyang to spread propaganda to Koreans outside the closed state. The web site is hosted in China.

Unlike earlier videos, the video featuring Olympus Has Fallen and Red Dawn was not posted to YouTube.

The latest video is part of a pattern of increasingly hostile propaganda activities. Earlier videos posted to YouTube showed simulated nuclear missile attacks on New York and Washington, D.C. with images of Obama and U.S. troops in flames.

The Assad regime in Syria has large quantities of chemical weapons spread throughout the country capable of being deployed on missiles, according to the written reports of Director of National Intelligence James Clapper and Gen. Michael Flynn, director of the Defense Intelligence Agency.

Clapper refused to provide an assessment of whether the Syrian regime had used chemical weapons against the opposition and crossed the “red line” set by President Barack Obama.

His testimony comes as American intelligence agencies are seeing credible evidence of chemical weapons use for the first time.

Seventy-five thousand people have been killed in the civil war and an al Qaeda affiliate has established a presence in the country, Clapper and Flynn testified.

The collapse of the Assad regime would be a “huge strategic loss for Iran,” Clapper said. Iran has sent forces into the country to support the regime’s fight against the insurgents.

Sen. John McCain (R., Ariz.) expressed exasperation that the United States has not intervened in the conflict.

“All of this might have been avoided if we hadn’t sat by and watched it happen,” McCain said.

The ongoing conflict in Syria was part of the larger discussion of the range of threats against the United States.

“In almost 50 years of intelligence, I don’t remember when we’ve had a more diverse array of threats and crisis situations around the world to deal with,” Sen. Jim Inhofe (R., Okla.) said, quoting Clapper.

The discussion ranged from the threats posed by different countries—like Libya and Mali, Iran, China, and North Korea—as well as other threats common to several countries, like cyber warfare.

Multiple senators asked about the recent leak of a classified assessment by the Defense Intelligence Agency that North Korea likely had the ability to mate a nuclear warhead and a missile.

Clapper sought to qualify the assessment by emphasizing that the intelligence community does not agree on this point. The Defense Intelligence Agency is more confident about this point than the other intelligence agencies, Clapper said.

Flynn stood by his intelligence agency’s assessment but emphasized that it was only one line in a seven-page, classified report.

Clapper did say North Korea is moving in the direction of a nuclear missile.

“They have what appears to be the basic ingredients for nuclear missiles,” he said.

Clapper also said North Korean decision-making lies with one person, Kim Jong-un.

“I think he’s driven by the need to prove his position, consolidate his power, and a lot of what he’s doing and saying are driven by messages to a domestic audience and the international audience,” Clapper said.

The senators also asked about Iran’s nuclear capability. Clapper said the most likely route Iran would take to a nuclear weapon is covert—a path that would slow down their ability to make a weapon. A rush to a nuclear weapon, known as a “breakout,” would be more easily detectable but would still take several months, not years, Clapper said.

Clapper and Flynn declined to answer many questions in open session—including whether Pakistan’s nuclear weapons are secure—preferring instead to discuss them in a classified setting.

Flynn and Clapper also criticized the cuts to the military and intelligence agency currently being implemented in the mandatory federal spending cuts. Clapper drew a parallel between the current cuts and the “peace dividend” that President Bill Clinton pursued in the 1990s that resulted in the gutting of the intelligence services—a gutting that was only reversed after the Sept. 11, 2001 terrorist attacks.

Strongly alluding to the Obama administration’s policy to “pivot” toward a greater focus on the Asia-Pacific region, the paper said, “Some country has strengthened its Asia-Pacific military alliances, expanded its military presence in the region, and frequently makes the situation tenser.” Thus, China has an “arduous task to safeguard its national unification, territorial integrity and development interests.”

Over all, the paper suggested that China should be satisfied with its strategic position and offered a congratulatory note, saying that China “has seized and made the most of this important period of strategic opportunities for its development, and its modernization achievements have captured world attention.” In particular, it singled out a better situation with Taiwan, saying, “Cross-straits relations are sustaining a momentum of peaceful development.”

SAVANNAH GUTHRIE: Does North Korea, in your estimation, have the ability to put a nuclear weapon on a ballistic missile?

PRESIDENT OBAMA: Based on our current intelligence assessments, we do not think they have that capacity. But we have to make sure that we are dealing with every contingency out there and that’s why I’ve repositioned missile defense systems to guard against any miscalculation on their part.

U.S. officials have publicly downplayed a report from a Pentagon agency that North Korea has a nuclear missile capability over the last week.

Rep. Doug Lamborn (R., Colo.) read from the Defense Intelligence Agency (DIA) report, which was “mistakenly” declassified, in a committee hearing last week.

The Defense Intelligence Agency also drew criticism from the congressman who cast doubt on the DIA’s recently disclosed assertion that North Korea is capable of mounting a nuclear warhead on a missile:

MARTIN BASHIR: Do you agree with that assessment that we would need to strike?

PETER WELCH: I don’t. You know, the thing about Senator McCain is he has a lot of confidence in the striking capacity and the definitive outcome of a military operation. What I think history has shown us is that there’s been a carelessness in looking at unintended consequences. I mean, Iraq is a very good example. Incidentally, the DIA assessment. You have to have some skepticism here. They were the folks that assured us Iraq had a nuclear weapon. So this moderate degree of confidence over there, we don’t really know what it means, but to be suggesting that we pull the trigger on a military operation right now, I think, probably just escalates the rhetoric and is not a net positive. I think Senator Kerry was very firm and very clear that there are U.N. conditions that North Korea is violating. If they do anything that results in a conflict, the North Koreans know what the outcome will be. He’s making it clear the U.S. will protect itself and protect its allies.

Full interview: