The Case for Deez Nuts

From Deez to shining Deez

America! America!

God shed his grace on Deez

Our once great country is at a crossroads. America’s balls are in the air. Fate’s mighty sword is rising, soon to strike, but where? The girth of history hangs heavy like a bilious cloud, the gnarled claws of hubris reaching round to squeeze that vile juice. Our barren fields could use the rain, but at what cost? Some look to the sky and wonder: Will we ever be great again? Some are too ashamed to even ask.

There is only one candidate running in 2016 who can give us the answer we craze. I’m talking, of course, about Deez Nuts.

Election 2016: All Roads Lead to Trump

Soon.

Get ready, America. Our collective dream of a Donald Trump presidency may soon be realized. The former Democrat continues to lead the Republican field, after the lamestream media assured us Trump would fade. Hillary Clinton is embroiled in a FBI investigation into whether she sent “top secret” information over her private email network, an offense that would place most everyday Americans behind bars. Socialist curmudgeon Bernie Sanders is beating her by seven points among New Hampshire primary voters, but he is unlikely to have the same appeal in a general election versus Trump, even though they agree on almost every issue.