Harry Reid Rocks Mad Bling

Elderly millionaire Harry Reid thinks about money and smiles. (AP)

Senate Majority Harry Reid (D., Nev.) knows a thing or two about making money. He has amassed a sizable fortune since getting elected to Congress in the 1980s, although it’s hard to say how he’s gotten so rich over the years.

Reid refuses to release his tax returns—but we do know that he has been on the winning end of a number of suspicious land deals in his home state.

Last month, Reid sold his home in Searchlight, Nevada to a gold-mining company for $1.75 million. Not bad. Maybe that explains this blinging watch and ring combo:

Why Hillary Clinton’s Massive Public Speaking Fortune Matters

AP

Hillary Clinton has raked in at least $12 million since quitting her job at the State Department last year, Bloomberg reported on Monday, noting that Clinton’s “windfall” was “at odds with her party’s call to shrink the gap between the rich and the poor.”

This did not sit well with Hillary’s fans, who really hate it when you mention her and Mitt Romney in the same sentence:

Hillary Clinton Has Made $12 Million Since Leaving the State Department

She is the 0.01 percent
Elderly homeowner Hillary Clinton holds an hour's worth of wages. (AP)

Hillary Clinton has “earned” at least $12 million since quitting her job as Secretary of State, Bloomberg reports. Sources of income include her underperforming memoir, along with paid appearances at corporate gatherings (e.g. Goldman Sachs) and six-figure speeches at public universities.

Clinton, who owns at least two homes and hasn’t driven a car in decades, is trying to present herself as a champion of hardworking Americans. Bloomberg notes that while Hillary’s so-called earnings “represent a fraction of the Clinton family’s total income,” they were ample enough to place her “in the top one-hundredth of the 1 percent.” She is the 0.01 percent, and she’s very concerned about income inequality.

Read the Puffiest Hillary Clinton Puff Piece of All Time

British style mag fawns over elderly diplomat's "charming" laugh
(photo via Twitter)

The British media has been all over the Hillary Clinton beat of late. Last week, for example, the mommy website Mumsnet dared to ask the elderly homeowner about her successful defense of a child rapist in 1975, an issue that U.S. media outlets had been too hesitant to broach in numerous one-on-one interviews with the renowned public speaker.

On Wednesday, Stylist Magazine published what was undoubtedly one of the puffiest Hillary Clinton puff pieces of all time.

BREAKING: Hillary Clinton’s Faith in Polygraphs Restored

Elderly homeowner and child rapist defender Hillary Clinton. (AP)

The New York Times reports on the disappointing sales of Hillary Clinton’s most recent memoir, Hard Choices. The book is currently ranked 108th on Amazon’s best-seller list, behind Ben Carson’s memoir One Nation (#75), and Potty (#45), the top-selling toilet training book for children.

Even more embarrassing, as the Times notes, is the fact that Hillary’s book is being outsold by Blood Feud, Edward Klein’s groundbreaking exposé on the testy relationship between the Clintons and the Obamas. Klein’s book is currently ranked 12th on the Amazon best-seller list.

On the bright side, Hard Choices continues to be the top selling book in Amazon’s “gender studies” category.

How to Pad Your Resume Like a Pro, by Hillary Clinton

Hillary Rodham Clinton

We all know that Hillary Clinton is the most successful and influential female political leader of all time. We know this because Clinton and her supporters are constantly reminding us, and because her official resumes—via the White House, the State Department, PBS, and the Clinton Foundation—offer a case study in how to inflate one’s accomplishments with nonsense words. (The following is comprised almost entirely of direct quotes.)